SAT OCT. 20: PIPE BOMB! by DANIEL DEBOOM

Tues | Oct 16 Yesterday, we put the Best of Long Beach issue together inside a studio apartment in Bluff Heights, where we were joined by a desktop printer, one pizza, four laptops, a highlighter and two cats. This is all very unusual, of course . . . usually the cats work at a separate office.

Wed | Oct 17 The ongoing telenovella that is the Los Angeles Lakers continues—except that there are no sweaty, scantily-clad people slapping other sweaty, scantily-clad people—wait, yes there are, as Kobe Bryant demands to be traded, or doesn’t, and Lakers owner Jerry Buss looks to trade him, or doesn’t. This has been going on for some time and of all the bad things that come with this—more airtime for Jack Haley—the worst is that the Lakers have committed the most grievous of sins: they’ve become very, very boring. Yes, at first, it was exciting to hear who said what and wonder if they really meant it. But now that it has descended to the level of “I know you are, but what am I?” it’s all just very repetitive, especially since there is so little at stake. The Lakers should take note of the Dodgers in the ’90s, a decent team that made the playoffs a few times, only to be dropped in the first round (sound familiar?) and who were so stultifyingly boring that the Lakers actually surpassed them in popularity by the end of the decade—something they couldn’t do even in their glory days of the 1980s. That’s because the Lakers of 1990s were an intriguing bunch—Bryant and Shaquille O’Neal feuded almost from the start—who were capable of great things. The schism between Bryant and O’Neal had heat (sorry) because there was so much to gain or lose. Now? With or without Kobe, the Lakers are supremely capable of missing the playoffs or sneaking in for the privilege of losing in the first round. So what we have here is an ongoing fight, reported relentlessly, with no good or bad guy or any realistic prize to speak of. Congratulations, Lakers, you’ve become the Falkland Islands.

Thurs | Oct 18 All I’m going to say is this: tonight, South Florida plays Rutgers in a football game. That’s the No. 2 South Florida Bulls. The reason I bring this up is because two months ago, as I was writing the story about Long Beach State fielding a football team again, a couple folks mentioned to me that CSULB could be the next South Florida, living off the castoffs from the major football powers in town (in South Florida’s case, Miami, Florida State, Florida; for Long Beach, USC and UCLA.) If you’re the snarky sort, you may say that South Florida lost to Rutgers tonight. My point is they will still be a top 20 team after this and figure to be for a while to come now that they’ve established themselves. I still think Long Beach State could do this. All we need is a little enthusiasm, a can-do attitude, and someone to pony up about $20-$50 million to get the whole thing started. Someone? Anyone?

Fri | Oct 19 I’m in Chicago today. Great city. A city that appreciates its public art and its public smoking—the people here are like catalytic converters. It is also the city of Subway sandwich shops—they outnumber Starbucks—and, as it turns out a very windy city. And yes, I know, I know, that Chicago is the Windy City but I always assumed that was one of those ironic nicknames, you now, like calling Michael Jackson the “King of Pop” or George W. Bush the “Commander in Chief.” You know what else they have in Chicago? Great buildings. Everywhere. Great buildings from the 19th century. Great buildings from the early-, mid- and late-20th century. Tall buildings. Squat buildings. Ornate and streamlined buildings. Some say Chicago’s great architecture stems from the whole town burning down in the 1800s and the whole thing having to be built from the ground up. Of course, if that were the case, LA/LB would be an architectural haven, having been torched at least twice that I can remember.

Sat | Oct 20 A pipe bomb explodes in the parking structure above the Rock Bottom Brewery tonight. No one is injured and no vehicles are reported damaged but it is a terrifying event, especially since we find out that our managing editor, Ellen Griley, was in that very same parking structure, TWENTY FOUR HOURS BEFORE! What’s more, Dave Wielenga was driving on the Long Beach Freeway that very night, the very same Long Beach Freeway the alleged pipe exploder may have used for his/her escape—though it could have been the 405, or the 91, or maybe they just cruised down Lakewood to the 105, but if you’re going to do that, why not just head over to the 605? I mean, you may be a crazed bomber but that doesn’t mean you should waste your time waiting at traffic lights. The point is we here at The District came within just a day and perhaps as few as one and as many as an infinite amount of miles from meeting the bomber. As you would expect, we will cooperate fully with the police, who are presently going on the assumption that the bomber really doesn’t like plumbing supplies.

Sun | Oct 21 Southern California is on fire. All you can see from the window of the jet that I’m inside en route to LAX is the thick brown air that looks like dirt. While this would disturb most people in just about any other part of the world, not a single person on the plane thought the air looked in the least bit unusual.

Mon | Oct 22 Not the least.

Tags: best of, Lakers, Long Beach, office cats, pipe bomb, UCLA, usc, wildfire