Janitor in a Car
Compiled by Miles Clements

1600 BLOCK OF JUNIPERO AVE
WED APRIL 4 | 4:15 PM
A janitor was arrested after police discovered what they believed to be a methamphetamine lab operating inside his home. It’s reported that drug enforcement officials had been following the man for some time, watching as he allegedly dealt drugs all over town: on street corners, even in front of a pack of local middle schoolers. With enough evidence to serve a search warrant, police were dispatched to the man’s residence, where they found his nine-year-old son amidst a pile of money, a container brimming with liquid meth and a half-pound of saleable meth. Officers later found the janitor in his car with yet another pound of meth—and his 15-year-old son riding shotgun.

1100 BLOCK OF E SAN ANTONIO DR
MON APRIL 9 | 8:30 PM
A middle-aged couple caught up in the throes of l’amour—or, perhaps, just really horny—decided to park their passions and their camper in a lot behind a local business complex where nature, and the inevitable rockin’ therein, took over. It was in the heat of that moment that police found the couple in full embrace behind the camper’s foggy windows. Officers arrested and booked the not-so-rugged exhibitionists on, among other things, the very sensual charge of illegal camping.