A Pneumatic Guide for Easy Consumption of the May 1 Special Election
By Ryan Smolar

The story of the Long Beach charter, our city’s constitution, began over 100 years ago as a ploy by city hoteliers to get legal alcohol into the teetotaling town. The document has been revised almost 50 times since then, and the May 1 special election is the next chance for citizens to vote on some carefully cooked up propositions.

While this round of charter reform provides some important civic upgrades, many of the carefully bundled propositions shape up as mere attempts to insulate officials from the citizens who elected them:

Proposition A is certainly the exception, increasing the power of the mayor (the only governing official chosen by citywide vote) by making it harder for the City Council to override a mayoral veto. This proposition brings more democracy to a city where democracy is still a relatively new thing: Long Beach only began electing its mayors in the early 1980s, and just three people have held the job. Unless A passes, the mayor will execute just one major responsibility at council meetings: enforcing the three-minute speaking rule. Vote: YES

Proposition B is a bundled three-fer that creates loosely regulated commissions to evaluate City Council salaries, redistricting and city ethics. We can all agree that the current compensation of $27,000 a year for part-time councilmembers does seem a little weak, but the creation of a commission with the power to double that pay immediately seems equally irresponsible—especially since it neither redefines the job as “full-time’’ nor even installs a sign on the 14th floor that reads, “Time enough to stop? Time enough to mop.” Vote: NO

It’s easiest to understand Props C and D if you take them together. Proposition C would increase the limit on terms from two to three for the city’s mayors, councilmembers and commissioners—from eight years to 12, in other words. That’s bad for the city but Prop D is worse because it’s not only undemocratic but dishonest—it would lift the lid on term limits without saying so. Here’s how: current election code says termed-out officials can’t appear on the ballot but it doesn’t actually ban them from running for office and taking their seat. Prop D would allow them to appear on the ballot, effectively killing term limits. Vote: NO and NO

Proposition E is being pitched as a new protection for parkland, but actually weakens an existing law by inserting a loophole that could allow the city to sell parkland without a public vote. Of course, the status quo isn’t so great, either: just take a stroll down Ocean Boulevard and take note of the small gravestones in front of every luxury tower—the ones that read “Victory Park.” Vote: NO

Proposition F would restructure the city prosecutor’s office. It seems to make fiscal sense, and would allow city prosecutor Tom Reeves to spend more time at home with his cats. Vote: YES

Proposition G is a no-brainer, removing dead-weight provisions that are essentially just taking up paper. Of course, we will be sad to repeal the Municipal Band tax (the funding source for LB’s first municipal arts organization), but city officials shunned the Munies (as the band is called) years ago after the city hit financial hardship and a noodling flautist was caught publicly warming up his licorice stick. Vote: YES

Proposition H raises the Long Beach tax on oil to help raise an estimated $4 million in public safety funds. Word is the city could’ve struck an even better deal. But City Auditor Laura Dowd, a total hottie, supports Proposition H, and her endorsement means that H probably makes fiscal sense. But we can’t tell because we weren’t really listening to Dowd, lost as we were in her eyes. Vote: YES