Fifth Story Tenants Don’t Want to Know
By Chris Ziegler

PHOTO by WILLIAM A. KIRKLEY

Fifteen years of shoes glued to beer puddles makes the Fifth Story Tenants one of Long Beach’s hardiest party bands—played the Foothill on Superbowl Sunday to the bartender and a dog, played a strip club and had to set up around the pole, routinely played instrumental covers as emboldened backyard drunks free-associated karaoke about ex-girlfriends—but they haven’t played what qualifies as a proper set since their last full-length two years ago. Singer/guitarist Paul Sharar is a little busy with a new son—who’s not talking yet but is already dancing to songs he likes, says Paul—but the return of the magnificent Fifth comes Sunday at the video release for the adorably Luddite “Glamour On MySpace.”

This first officialish effort since 2005’s Take the Joker Out (on Huntington’s Unity Squad) is a departure from the Tenants you may remember only because it acknowledges the existence of the Internet—Tenants texts tend toward experience mediated by a bottle, not a screen. But Paul can call the sound concisely enough to cover almost all the songs he writes: “Sexpistolsian,” he laughs, and some Clash and some Who, too, when pressed for details.

That puts the Tenants in that long honorable line of answer bands from towns too detached and distracted to mess with anything but the best of the basics. Minneapolis had the Replacements (the brothers Stinson, whose loose songs and loser sentiments give the Tenants plenty inspiration) and Cleveland had the Mice (the brothers Fox, who used the same cranky humor in songs like “Public Television”) and Long Beach has brothers Matt and Paul Sharar (plus drummer Paul Evans) who are all smart enough not to make this simple thing any harder than it should be.

The very first lyric in “Glamour” pops out with reverent sexpistolsian gracelessness (“They’re selling BODDDDDIEEEEEEEEEEEES!”) and squirts all over the world’s nerds for about another two minutes, and though Paul and Matt aren’t on MySpace—“I work 40 hours a week and wake up at 6 a.m.,” says Paul. “I have trouble having 16 friends!”—someone must have explained the concept to them pretty clearly.

Blow Up Blow guitarist Eric Dunn’s lo-fi video drops familiar Friendsterly faces—the roid rocker, the 420 dude, the person whose photo is nothing but a butt—over sped-up footage of Fifth Story Tenants playing fully equipped in a sunny driveway. It’s a little tongue-in-cheek but there’s a little piss and vinegar, too, says bassist Matt. You’d think that’d taste awful but they play it just like they promise—Sex Pistols, Clash, Who and a little blue in the humor.

“A lot of our songs come from a kind of youth thing,” says Matt, “and maybe they’re kind of cocky and maybe they’re not explained that well, but rock & roll should be a jolt like that. It doesn’t have to be so cogent.”

Obviously MySpace is ridiculous—everyone laughs about the guy who found out the band had the song and wanted to know how many friends they’d racked in—but isn’t there some sociology truism about how something that embarrasses everyone equally actually embarrasses no one at all? “Seen Your Video” (and the actual video for “Bastards of Young”) didn’t get the TV turned off but all the Luddites who heard (or saw) it were in love. What’s better than MySpace?

“Records and shows,” Paul says—so self-evident he has to say it a little slowly. “And parties!”

THE FIFTH STORY TENANTS WITH UNDERGROUND RAILROAD TO CANDYLAND, LAKE DELORES AND THE BUG-EYED SPRITES AT ALEX’S BAR | 2913 E ANAHEIM ST | LONG BEACH | 562.434.8292 | ALEXSBAR.COM. SUN 8PM. $3. 21+.