The essential wisdom of Moris Tepper

Moris Tepper—onetime pre-vet student; collaborator with Captain Beefheart, Frank Black, Tom Waits and PJ Harvey; and, for this paper at least, tortoise-finding expert—chats animals (“You could talk to me about animals from now til doomsday. I’m queer on animals,” per L.A. RECORD) as easily as he does humans (“People have disciplines in life to find order and meaning, but there’s so much meaning not knowing anything! I constantly discover meaning because I don’t know anything—because I’m so dumb!”—from the same awesome interview, look it up!), and very nearly always in this freakishly honest manner that simultaneously leaves your heart broken and your spirit swollen. Tepper plays Saturday with Mike Watt and Crystal Antlers (“Thanks for helpin’ us convince the children that it’s safe, even fun, to come down and see these wild animals!” he writes via e-mail), a terrific bill fit for barreling out of your Thanksgiving muddle.

What is your definition of success? The one that fertilized the egg.
Who, musicians or otherwise, do you look to for inspiration? Cut it out. There’s so much inspiration in a leaf that compels me to bleed creation for eternity.
When do you feel most creative? When I’m alive.
What is your biggest fear as a musician? That I’m going to be called a musician.
What is your biggest fear as a human? That I’m human.
Who is your favorite songwriter? Rainwater, waves, river water . . . also the sound of a flushing toilet. I guess water.
What is the quality you most admire in a band? Their ability to silence the singer.
What is the quality you most admire in a singer? Honesty and the ability to stay underwater for a real long time—lung capacity.
What is your favorite way to relax? Staying underwater for a real long time.
What is your favorite way to spend time? Kicking the shit out of animal abusers.
What album will you never tire of? Sly Stone, There’s A Riot Goin’ On. Dylan, John Wesley Harding.
What do you hope to be doing in five years? The same thing as today.
What do you feel defines your band? The ability to drink and drive—I guess that’s most bands.
What do you feel is your greatest weakness? My little toe.
What is your favorite chord? A flock of geese on the high end, a fist slugging meat in the mid range and a truck driving through your apartment on the bottom end.
What is your favorite book? Here’s some of them: Dog Years by Günter Grass, Call of the Wild by Jack London, The Soul of the White Ant by Eugene Marais.
What is your favorite movie? Some of them: Kenji Mizoguchi’s Ugetsu, Federico Fellini’s Satyricon, Chan-wook Park’s Oldboy and most all of Akira Kurosawa’s films.
How do you define sadness? When everything you love is dead.
What is it you most dislike? Human greed and disrespect for all other life forms.
What is your greatest indulgence? My art.
What words do you live by? I don’t live by words, I die by words and live by actions.
What is your favorite song lyric? Too many, way too many.

L.A. RECORD AND ZCONTROLS PRESENT MORIS TEPPER, MIKE WATT AND CRYSTAL ANTLERS WITH DJ CHRIS ZIEGLER THE PROSPECTOR | 2400 E SEVENTH ST | LONG BEACH 90804 | 562.438.3839 | MYSPACE.COM/THEPROSPECTORLONGBEACH | SAT 9PM | $5 | 21+ | MYSPACE.COM/MORISTEPPER AND CANDLEBONE.COM | LARECORD.COM

Tags: captain beefheart, la record, Long Beach, mike watt, mors tepper, the prospector