FLORENCE BIXBY ELEMENTARY by SUSAN SABO

FEATURE
Long Beach State hasn’t fielded a football team for 15 seasons, but the success of schools such as Boise State and LBSU’s access to top football talent have people asking if it might be time for the school to finally bring back the program. AIN’T GONNA HAPPEN. There are many reasons, some to do with money, some to do with Murray State and some to do with things that are soooo Long Beach: bad timing, apathy and death. Also, does Terrell Davis have any eligibility left?

NEWS
Anyone who’s ever taken comparative literature knows that universities haven’t cornered the market on good teachers. Some of the best of the bunch are to be found at our local community colleges. Long Beach City’s College’s Scott Fraser is a robot whiz. Which isn’t to say he is a robot . . . though he does seem to suck up a lot of electricity. (And Vector Control, which you may or may not “get”; I, Fink!; Criminy!; and a win-win lost in our weekly Breakwater Breakdown.

ART
Long Beach Polytechnic High gets credit for all the good school architecture in the city, but Theo Douglas and photographer Susan Sabo find a slew of elementary and middle school campuses that are pretty easy on the eyes, too.

MUSIC
Chris Ziegler beachcombs with the Hacienda Brothers and flips on Little Richard while Drew Tewksbury returns with the new Mekons record and Sarah Bennett drops a Shop Ass and then departs the Shop Ass pod to visit Fingerprints in person when Minus The Bear plays. All this and today I got a bunch of Creems from 1976 and it’s all cavemen writing in to complain that Lester Bangs doesn’t understand cars.

DEPT. OF COMMERCE
Are you going back to school? As in, for serious, you haven’t started college yet (or at least not attended in a very long while?) have no fear: Mike Guardabascio points you towards Aida’s University Text, where the books aren’t the only reason to visit-there’s also parking! Plus, Steve Lowery goes on and on and on about a CSULB T-shirt he just LOVES.

FOOD + DRINK
Miles Clements heads back to high school—or his stomach does, at least—and reports back on the area’s greatest local, school-adjacent burger joints. And if you’re not in high school, all the better: take time out for a reunion you’ll actually enjoy! Also, Ellen Griley—who was a Lit major in college—does what Lit majors do best: rhapsodizes about nothing. Okay, it’s something: beer. Who likes beer? We do! Also, Blottery!

FILM
Who is excited for fall? We are! But that’s not important right now. Our film reviews (of Charlie Chaplin’s Modern Times and also the new flick Self-Medicated.

FINE PRINT
Kevin Ferguson dissects the relative merit (and annoyances) of the perpetual student. We run a picture of Rodney Dangerfield.