Kick Ass

ILLUSTRATION by BOB AUL

You’re the miserable deviant who decided it was necessary to kick and destroy the side mirrors of multiple vehicles down Broadway in Belmont Shore on a Friday night. Did your Neanderthal friends hoot and holler while your ogre foot, like a pestilence, blighted private property? You’re a chancre on the foul dick of misery. My Christian mother would advise me to forgive your selfishness, but unfortunately for you I’m a sinner and I curse your foot. I “pray” it falls off one day.