MONDAY
The only thing worse than Monday morning is Monday afternoon. You’re already eager for the weekend—five impossibly long days away—so why not extend the weekend you just had? Frisco’s World Famous Carhop and Bar offers “Hoppy Hour” for those in need of a second Sunday. Located by the police station off Los Coyotes, Frisco’s is your classic circa-1950 carhop and family restaurant. They’ve also included a classy full bar, and the happy-hour prices smack of the ’50s, too.

Frisco’s serves up top-shelf alcohol and quality beer (as opposed to standard pubs that limit specials to watered-down macrobrews). A pint of Guinness for $2, Jack-and-Coke for $3, and Stella for $2! But the best part is the Blizzard Beer Chilling System that guarantees your beer is always 29 degrees. You could stay here forever. Seriously. Frisco’s even recently tacked on a late-night “Hoppy Hour” (from 9 p.m. ’til closing) in case you’re still in traffic during the first one (from 2:30 to 6 p.m.).

As for the food, you won’t be disappointed. A mere $6.50 gets you the mother of all fried plates: choose three types of deep-fried deliciousness from a list including onion rings, zucchini, mushrooms, mozzarella sticks, and potato wedges (which are actually just half-potatoes stuffed with cheese and bacon). How about a $4 quesadilla or chicken strips to go with your $2 beer? If you can afford a few afternoon hours and $10, you can spend it at Frisco’s—and with beautiful waitresses on roller skates. What else can you ask of Monday . . . other than to give back your bocce balls? C’mon, Monday, be cool.

FRISCO’S 4750 E LOS COYOTES DIAGONAL | LONG BEACH 90815 | 562.498.3663 | TOO DRUNK TO DRIVE? YELLOW CAB LONG BEACH | 562.435.6111 | NEAREST AA MEETING? 5550 ATHERTON | 8PM

TUESDAY
You can’t buy much for a dollar nowadays. Maybe some candy. But it won’t be as sweet as Tuesday’s Dollar Draft Night at Iguana Kelley’s. And don’t expect your dollar to go only as far as a shot of beer—these are respectable 14-ounce pours. The deal draws a diverse crowd, from salty old-timers lining the bar to young hipsters crowding in for a game of drunken shuffleboard on a 15-foot-long battlefield.

Every time you go, the same guy will check your ID—but he’s cool about it. The jukebox—an Internet-connected Touch Soon that’ll download any song ever written outside of your buddy’s basement—will be blaring something you grew up listening to.

As for the interior, it’s as if every bar cliché in the Western world exploded: fluorescent beer signs above the entry, show posters dating back decades, black-and-white pictures of Mexican familia, and chalk signatures on the walls surrounding the pool tables (75 cents, sharks).

If you need a late-night snack, Famous Tommy’s Burgers is directly across the street. Chili fries at 1 a.m.? Score! Especially after spending $7 on as many beers in three hours. Just make sure you drop some cash on a taxi, too.

WEDNESDAY
By Wednesday evening you’re over the hump. Some rest and repose is in order—and you might as well order some drinks, too. For this we present Belmont Brewing Company, a restaurant/brewery overlooking the ocean. The Pacific Ocean, Galileo. BBC boasts an assortment of tasty home-brewed beers and a fire pit to accelerate your relaxation.

Get a good group together and huddle around the fire to enjoy a BBC taster set, complete with five specialty beers and a Beer of the Month on your own personal tray. This month, it’s a sweet, smooth, thick Hefeweizen. The miniature glasses sit atop your tray-liner with brief descriptions for each of the six beers, and no two are too alike.

For starters, there’s the Crude Oil, a 6.5% (alcohol percentage) dark and heavy number. Once you get it down, move to the Strawberry Blond, so fruity that it’s five hops away from a wine spritzer. Next up, treat your palate to the Top Sail, a 5.5% malty amber. By this point you’ll be tipsy, but on deck there’s still the Pale Ale, the Hefe, and the Marathon—a smooth and sneaky blonde ale. These Long Beach staples will put you under, but the price won’t: the taster set is yours for a measly $5.

Happy Hour, which runs Monday-Friday from 8:30 p.m. until 10:30 p.m., is the time to visit Belmont Brewing Company. With $3 BBC pints, $8 BBC pitchers, $4 well drinks, and $6 pizza, you’ll max out your appetite long before your budget.

THURSDAY
Thursday—it’s the college student’s Friday night. And what do college students do on Friday nights? Pretty much the same thing they do every night: get drunk! That, and yearn. For the penny-pinchers of Long Beach, the Interlude offers somewhere to turn, not for a one-night-a-week special, but as an everyday destination for you and that blind date who looks nothing like her MySpace profile.

Well drinks for $3! Free popcorn! Pool tables! Darts! And a bartender that could pass for Bea Arthur if Bea were a Hell’s Angel! She’s known for making the strongest drinks in town—not because she likes you, but because she wants you to crash your car. I know, because she told me.

The Lude, as it’s called by those who know its true colors, is a dive. There’s no denying that. It wins the title for best spot on Thursday night because it’s really the best place to drink every night when you’re not budgeted to party on Pine. There’s always a temperate atmosphere, which seems to be set by the digital jukebox that can download any song, yet still never plays Megadeth. There’s a lot to be said for a crowd that knows the boundaries of good drinking music—and that’s what you’ll find at the Lude: Journey, Credence, and all of Elton’s old-school party favorites. There are only two types of client here: regulars and regulars-in-training—all in cahoots that this remains a refuge for nights gone awry, a place to be out but still be in.

THE INTERLUDE 1710 CLARK AVE | LONG BEACH 90815 | 562.597.2963 | TOO DRUNK TO DRIVE? SCOOTER PATROL | 562.577.7365 | NEAREST AA MEETING? 3954 PALO VERDES AVE | 7PM

FRIDAY
Pine Avenue is great for bar-hopping. So is Second Street. But if you’re looking for a new type of Friday night, begin at Acapulco Mexican Restaurant on PCH in the Marina Pacifica.

Happy Hour goes from 4 p.m. to 7 p.m., but make sure you get there by 4 because they’ve already rolled out the $1 taco table in the upstairs cantina. Sculpt your own taco and wash it down with your choice of fruity margarita. Cha! Cha! Cha! If tacos are not your thing, try a half-priced appetizer, and then step out on the balcony for some fresh air, to check out the boats, or to sneak a post-meal cigarette. When Happy Hour ends, walk to the Gaslamp Restaurant.

The lights at Gaslamp go down when the tables are cleared for your favorite ’80s tribute band, Knyght Ryder, playing everything from Bowie to Bon Jovi. Drinks are relatively affordable, but drink fast: the nearby neighborhoods force Gaslamp into a premature last call at 12:30 a.m. But never fear, the night has only begun.

Catch a cab and double back to Sachi, operating out of the Seaport Marina Hotel. DJ DeLa will be on the ones and twos while you scan the scene. This crowd is a little younger than the Gaslamp’s, but what’s wrong with that? Throw back a cocktail and dance ‘til you’re thrown out or throw up.

SATURDAY
Show off your fine taste by planning a sophisticated Saturday-night escape at Morry’s of Naples. The entrance to Morry’s opens up onto a massive, alcohol-walled boutique that houses more than 3,000 wines, 400 beers, and an impressive assortment of liquor. You can also treat yourself or that special someone to fine jewelry (courtesy of local designers), chic wine glasses, cigars, and all imaginable drinking accessories. (Coming soon: gourmet chocolates.)

Beyond the curtain of the Backroom lies a lounge that whispers elegance (whispers because it wouldn’t be classy to scream). Low lighting, mood music, and comfortable vintage furniture all set the sexy ambiance. The centerpiece is a wine bar where waitresses guide on which wines and cheeses best complement each other. Eight tables for two sit opposite a glass wall that looks out on the main store through a floor-to-ceiling wine rack. Each table is equipped with its own oil lamp and pillow-lined seating, so choose a seat and fall in love in this cushy hive of high society.

There is little doubt that Morry’s is the best-kept secret in Long Beach dating, which is why people begged for this article not to be written. But for the perfect night, take the edge off with a glass or two of wine at Morry’s, then buy a bottle from the thousands in stock and head back to your place.

MORRY’S 5764 E SECOND ST | LONG BEACH 90803 | 562.433.0405 | TOO DRUNK TO DRIVE? YELLOW CAB LONG BEACH | 562.435.6111 | NEAREST AA MEETING? 3215 E THIRD ST | 8PM

SUNDAY
We recommend you don’t spend the next week trying all our suggestions, but if you just hit six bars in six days, then you have two choices on Sunday: Sleep. A lot. Or, you could keep the party going with $2 Bloody Mary’s at Yankee Doodles. Sure, a Bloody Mary is just vodka, Tabasco, tomato juice, pepper, lemon juice, salt, and Worcestershire . . . but put it all together on a Sunday morning, and you’ve created the greatest hangover remedy since death.

If you haven’t been to Doodles, you’re either new to Long Beach or suck. Spread across this 17,000-square-foot bar are 30 TV screens and 30 pool tables that cost $2 an hour. There’s an array of video games—both retro and recent—for those who aren’t up for the shuffleboard, foosball, pop-a-shot, darts, or table tennis.

After you’ve had your fill and/or hair of the dog, step out into the cool marine air and take a walk on the beach, which is nearly at Doodles’s back door. If you’re with your significant other, it’s quite romantic. If you aren’t, find one at the bar (even though non-football Sundays are kinda empty) and wow him or her with your wit and charm. Remember: everything sounds better when you’re two or more Bloody Mary’s deep. Such is life.

YANKEE DOODLES 4100 E OCEAN BLVD | LONG BEACH 90803 | 562.439.9777 | TOO DRUNK TO DRIVE? SCOOTER PATROL | 562.577.7365 | NEAREST AA MEETING? 5370 JUNIPERO AVE | 8PM

Tags: acapulco, belmont brewing company, drinks, gaslamp, iguana kelley's, Long Beach, the interlude