We review ‘Horton Hears a Who!’ in verse

Horton’s an elephant, but not one from the zoo. He lives in a jungle ruled by a purple kangaroo. He finds a small speck; it’s tiny and wee. From it he hears voices, but there’s nothing to see. It’s just a noise that Horton’s found, but there’s more than meets the eye, so he carries his speck around, down low and up high.

For days the speck’s silent, and Horton fears that he’s crazy. So he talks to it again, because maybe, just maybe . . . he yells louder and louder, as loud as he can! The Whos all yell back, they bang pots and pans! He can hear them, they’re there! A whole city of people! There’s a school and a store and a church with a steeple. Horton’s small speck, the one with no life, he’s discovered is home to Who husbands and wives!

Of course he looks insane, carting about this small speck, but most are not bothered, there’s no harm in a fleck. Still, snooty kangaroo thinks Horton is nuts—she wants him out of her jungle, no ifs, ands or buts!

She can’t hear the Whos calling; to her, nothing’s there. But Horton knows better, so he treats it with care. Kangaroo is annoyed, and sends a vulture out after it, but Horton fights the bird off, he won’t stand for that shit! Horton’s no quitter, he’s no Mr. Bungle! He gathers all the animals from all over the jungle. “Listen,” he cries, “There are Whos to be heard! They’re there, you can’t see them, but this is their world!”

The speck makes no sound, Horton’s getting flustered, but the Whos make more noise, more noise than they’ve ever mustered. “We’re here! We’re here!” they cry to the sky, but will the animals hear them in time?

The movie is funny, of course, it’s for tots. But even if you’re old, you’ll laugh lots and lots. It’s got Jim Carrey, Seth Rogen, and my favorite, Steve Carell. Plus animation from Pixar? All this is just swell.

The message is to love everyone, “no matter how small.” Pro-lifers shouldn’t take these words as a call. Protest somewhere else—it’s a kids’ movie, twerps! This isn’t an opportunity for you to do “God’s work.”

HORTON HEARS A WHO! DIR. JIMMY HAYWARD AND STEVE MARTINO | RATED G | OPENS FRI

Tags: dr. seuss, Film, horton hears a who, jim carrey, pixar, Reviews, steve carell