Despite rich source material for laughs, The Ten is a bore

If David Wain’s name isn’t immediately familiar to you, his face most likely is. After establishing his place in the comedy scene via MTV’s sketch-comedy show The State, Wain gained fame as the diminutive, bespectacled member of the comedy trio Stella and as a ubiquitous talking-head wisecracker on various VH1 pop-culture shows. In 2001, Wain directed, co-wrote, and co-produced Wet Hot American Summer, a Meatballs-flavored parody of horny-teens-at-camp comedies, which premiered at Sundance and maintains a loyal cult following on DVD. Six years after Summer, Wain’s back with his second venture as a film director: The Ten, co-written with Ken Marino and hyped in its press pack as “a series of interconnected comic sketches designed to reinterpret—and reinvent—the Ten Commandments.”

Like Wet Hot American Summer, The Ten boasts a cast packed with names, including Paul Rudd, Adam Brody, Winona Ryder, Justin Theroux, Oliver Platt, Jessica Alba, Liev Schreiber, and Janeane Garofalo. Like me, these names were undoubtedly enticed by the vast comedic potential of the Ten Commandments, that ancient hit parade of thou shalt nots bursting with lust, murder, and illicit coveting of oxen. With such rich source material and a modicum of comedic insight, The Ten seemed destined for . . . something.

Unfortunately, The Ten’s not much of anything. Hopes for wittiness are promptly dashed, first by the achingly klutzy narration (provided by the typically unimpeachable Paul Rudd), then by the sketches themselves, which are shockingly dumb, flat, and boring. The Ten Commandments are packed with enough bloody life to fuel a hundred deep comedies; not one but two of Wain’s Commandment stories hinge on debasing homosexual prison sex (zing!). The whole thing slogs by like The Worst of Mad TV, with an oddly star-packed cast. If God were alive today, He’d certainly agree: Thou shalt not see The Ten.

THE TEN DIR. DAVID WAIN | RATED R | AT SELECT THEATERS IN LA AND OC | FOR FILM LOCATIONS AND TIMES, CHECK OUR FILM CLOCK