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AMAZING STORIES!

The District WeeklyWed. October 31
 


ILLUSTRATION by LUKE MCGARRY

MUMMY DEAREST
Legend: A mummy displayed at the Pike, thought to be a mannequin, turned out to be an actual, human mummy.

Reality: Now, most of us know this story, but let’s indulge the newbies. Back in the mid ’70s they were filming an episode of Six Million Dollar Man at the Pike. A crew member was moving what he thought was a mummy mannequin in the Pike’s funhouse, the Laff in the Dark, when the mummy’s arm broke off and revealed that it was in fact the embalmed arm of a real human being.

That human being turned out to be Elmer McCurdy, a real-life Old West outlaw. McCurdy wasn’t too bright—a Western historian called him “God’s own idiot”—and he got himself killed in a gunfight after mistakenly robbing a passenger train he thought was carrying thousands in government tribal payments.

The one thing McCurdy apparently got right were his last words, which were reputed to be “You’ll never take me alive!” Correct-a-mundo! A bullet to the thorax took care of Elmer, but no one wanted to take care of his body, and when it went unclaimed at an Oklahoma funeral home, the mortician embalmed it and charged five cents a head to view “The Bandit Who Wouldn’t Give Up!”—allowing patrons to place their coins in McCurdy’s mouth.

Thus began Corpse McCurdy’s decades-long trek to carnivals and sideshows, until he finally ended up at the Pike, having been made-up and painted over so many times that everyone assumed he was a mummy mannequin—and a pretty fake-looking one at that.

When the mummy’s real identity was discovered, the body was gone over by a medical examiner who found one more surprise: a 1924 penny in Elmer McCurdy’s mouth. // STEVE LOWERY

SON OF SAM PEDRO
Legend: The (real?) Son of Sam snuck around San Pedro as part of a secret satanic death squad within the deeply underground Process Church, which kept a hidden headquarters inside an abandoned naval battery at White Point.

Reality: This one is a tar pit. The Process Church (of The Final Judgment) was a ’70s comedown . . . cult?

This tiny blurb may not be qualified to deploy that loaded word, but Process was an actual and an esoteric organization, with tenuous connections to Scientology and a demonstrable interest in Charles Manson—though that interest might have been to specifically prove that Manson never had anything to do with the Process Church, a controversy which resulted in a rare recalled edition of the 1971 Manson book The Family, written by Fugs co-founder Ed Sanders, whose band released records on the same label as Charles Manson. You were warned about the tar.

But in 1987 reporter Maury Terry came out with a book called The Ultimate Evil, which connected David Berkowitz—the Son of Sam—to the Process Church as one of possibly several shooters involved in . . . ritual murder for Satan?

Radio host Dave Emory explained it as a satanic mafia, or a satanic JFK conspiracy where Berkowitz and Manson were set up to divert attention from the real killers. Terry gives Process a base around Los Angeles—as well as in Minot, North Dakota—and characterizes Process as a cover for a cult including multiple murderers.

Several Sons of Sam: “There are other ‘sons’ out there,” Berkowitz would write from prison. “God help the world.” Then there’s also Manson II . . . and a satanic hit squad called the Black Cross. . . . And . . . then the White Point gun emplacements, on a bluff overlooking the old Nike missile site and the Pacific ocean—specifically the $1.2 million Battery Paul D. Bunker BCN-127, built to cradle 16-inch guns installed in 1944 but retired by 1946 and abandoned in 1975, six years after Tate-La Bianca and two years before Son of Sam.

Sometimes they’re locked—other times, they’re supposedly open, and supposedly they burrow deep into the hills, through levels of magazines and machinery. Supposedly Process and sons met here, or so I was told, and supposedly inside are their sloppy post-psychedelic murals and graffiti—looming goatmen and oblivious women, and I don’t know because it was locked when I went. (“Just about every vertical inch of concrete is covered in graffiti,” reports the Ft. MacArthur website.) But I did peek through a ventilation port and through the murk on a far wall was something written with a paint roller: YOU SAY [something in shadow] BUT YOU CAN’T EVEN SAVE YOURSELVES. So I don’t know. // CHRIS ZIEGLER

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Viewing 7 Comments

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    I have been working on a book about the women who worked in the aircraft industry during WWII and found out that Douglas hired "midgets" (the phrase used on the cutlines of the photos I saw) because they could fit into tight spaces like the inside of the fuel tanks.
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    Ms. Schipske,
    That's amazing!
    Thanks for letting us know.
    I wonder where these "midgets" lived while they worked at Douglas; it'd make our story better if they lived here. They may have been commuters, though.
    My grandmother worked at Douglas during the war, and I know she drove in from the San Gabriel Valley every day--down Rosemead Boulevard.
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    "Bloody Sunday": 1977 Signal Hill Speed Run. I was one of the few women who entered that race. There were two of us to be exact. The year before, there were no women represented. I thought that was terrible so I entered. I had a great leather outfit made by Bates Leather and was sponsored by my Dad's ship repair company. The other woman, Leslie Jo Ritzma, made it down and got the record for first woman to make the speed run. I unfortunately, as others that day, crashed...(my boyfriend at the time, Herb Spitzer, also crashed...let's just say, it was an exciting day for spectators!) I was not hurt but gave my mother a fright by doing a roll to the side just after the crest of the hill right in front of her! That was a very memorable day for me. I used to skate (roller skates) all the local skateparks and a few empty pools and am still in touch with several of "the guys" I hung with back then. (I'm a triathlete now.) Thanks for bringing some light to a great race, with or without the crashes!...You also got me back in contact with Jim O'Mahoney, a really great guy, that an interview with him alone would make for an interesting article!
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    I am Herbs brother and saw Michelle crash that day. I believe her trucks were tight and didn't turn because she hit a bump at the top and then the cart didn't go stright down hill and she couldn't make it adjust. A really bad eat. But she was one tough cookie! Herb on the other had got to aot 53 mph and his trucks were to loose and he got speed wabbles and got pitched...Someone in this world might have tape of this day...Wonder why they don't hold the ZShell Hill speed run anymo.
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    alright egor was a butler who worked in the house and there were these kids that live and played in the alley behind where he worked and he hated the kids because they were loud and made messes so one night he snaped and hung all the kids
    there's a ledge where u can see a semented door way and thats were it supposidly happend

    drive down the alley at night with your lights out crazy scary
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    I live in the Igor house. The stories crack me up!!!
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    I live in the Igor house. The stories crack me up!!! Email me with any questions.
 
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