SEAL BEACH BLVD | SEAL BEACH
THURS | SEPT 6 7:48 AM
A commuter faced an early-morning case of road rage when he was confronted by a man claiming to be a “federal agent.” Peeved at the driver’s apparent lack of skill, the self-proclaimed government man took it upon himself to stop the driver and threaten him with a flashlight. As if the potential of a flashlight upside the head weren’t enough, the man also began shining a laser pointer in the driver’s eyes. Shaken by the prospect of this kind of twisted Homeland Security—is there any other kind?—the victim described the G-man to police as thirtysomething with thinning hair, a well-groomed mustache, Army T-shirt and a silver Chevy—yeah, that doesn’t sound like an off-duty cop, much.

MARINA DRIVE | SEAL BEACH
SAT | SAT SEPT 8 12:04 AM
Residents saw shades of greatness during a midnight performance by a local man and his car stereo. After being tipped off by callers, police arrived to find the man dancing and singing by himself in front of his car, spotlighted by its headlights in the late-night darkness. Though callers believed the man to be drunk, police didn’t find any signs of belligerence—just a lot of star (and candle) power.