Criminy!

CRIMINY!

 

Self Love
Compiled by Miles Clements

SEAL BEACH BLVD, SEAL BEACH
FRI |
JUNE 15 3:59 PM
Although she claimed not to want to get involved, a young woman felt compelled to call the cops after she spotted a man masturbating in the back of his late-model Jeep Cherokee. The woman described the SUV as being a gold or copper color and noted that it was sitting in the back of a shopping-center parking lot. She also described the man in stereotypical predator terms: a balding, white male in his forties. What she didn’t remember, however, was his clothing, probably because he wasn’t wearing any pants.

UNKNOWN LOCATION, SEAL BEACH
SAT |
JUNE 16 12:55 PM
It was a busy afternoon at a local hotel when a transient man came into the lobby looking to use the restroom. Employees at the front desk showed the man to the restroom but were confused when he later refused to leave it. When the man finally came out, he began physically threatening employees with what they described as a five-foot stick. Waving and brandishing the thing like a sword, the man was eventually coaxed out of the hotel, where he turned his weapon into a walking stick and headed down the street.

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