Car of God

SEAL BEACH BLVD  SEAL BEACH
SUN  OCT 25 7:04PM
Not long into Sunday night, Seal Beach police received a tip from a caller concerned about a loiterer. The description was typical: a middle-aged man, tall and lanky, slurring his words into his cell phone. But this one had substance—the caller’s description of the man’s car turned up a hit-and-run incident a few hours earlier at the corner of Eighth and Termino. Seal Beach police advised officers in Long Beach, and the LBPD made its move, impounding the man’s car and arresting him in a legitimate case of crime-fighting synergy.

8000 BLOCK OF HARRISON ST  PARAMOUNT
WED  OCT 28 1:45AM
Another affront to God early Wednesday morning when a car slammed into the wall of a church. According to witnesses, the driver exited the crumpled car unscathed, then was picked up in the most suspicious of vehicles: a completely blacked-out SUV. And according to police, the car he plowed into the church wasn’t even his—it was stolen two months prior. No word on motive, though divine retribution is a possibility.