SAT SEPT. 15: WHAT’S WRONG WITH JUST THUNDERPUSSY?

Tues | Sept 11 It’s that day again, that day we all remember where we were exactly six years ago. Me? Fetal position. That was until some guy came to fix a household appliance and I couldn’t help but notice that he had this big smile on his face whenever he paused at my television to watch the interminable replays of the planes crashing into the Twin Towers. I finally asked him about it and he told me that he was a Christian so this kind of stuff gave him such joy because it meant the end of the world was at hand—a couple of weeks or months, tops. Well, Nostradumbass (see what I did there?), it’s been six years and the world, while melting, hasn’t come to an end unless you’re Britney Spears and possibly Charlie Weis. But take heart: I’m sure there are more wholesale killings, ethnic cleansings and religious bloodlettings in our future and, if you’re real good, maybe Christmas will bring a killer tsunami to one of those places where people look and pray different.

Wed | Sept 12 LA Observed publishes a memo from L.A. Daily News Editor Ron Kaye announcing that Judi Erickson has been named the paper’s city editor. This would seem to have nothing to do with people in these parts, until you get to the second paragraph: “She succeeds Barbara Jones who is coordinating content with our sister MediaNews papers and will play a key content role in the efforts to develop and put together the common pages we’ll soon be producing with the [South Bay Daily] Breeze and Long Beach [Press-Telegram].” Soon? You mean more? Press-Telegram readers already get a lot of their local, political and sports coverage from reporters working out of Torrance and Woodland Hills, so it’s not like this is anything new, but Kaye’s memo suggests there’s more homogenization to come. So ready yourself for more stories about such hot-button local topics as whether we should break away from L.A. Unified, local residents’ feelings about further expansion of LAX and who makes the best pizza in North Hollywood.

Thurs | Sept 13 Here I thought I would get smarter with age and yet I find it increasingly difficult to gauge the proper time to get a haircut. I blame lead paint and R-rated movies.

Fri | Sept 14 The Daily 49er, Cal State Long Beach’s student paper, publishes a story online announcing that it may soon be purely an online student newspaper. According to the report, the school of liberal arts is concerned about the cost of funding a paper, what with paper so expensive. Now, while it’s a good idea for almost any other form of journalism to be leaning toward a predominantly online presence, college papers are one of the few that must continue to publish on paper. Why? Because nobody goes home and checks out their school paper online—nobody who is having sex on a consistent basis. Anyone who’s been to college knows the only time a college paper gets read is at lunch (when you’re trying not to look like a friendless loser forced to eat alone) and before class (when you’re trying not to make eye contact with that freak who always sits next to you and sucks on the back of his hand). Hey, college-official types, you know what else contains paper and costs a lot? Books. Look: if you’re not going to publish a newspaper then don’t have a journalism school. Journalism is a blue-collar profession, and like all other blue-collar professions you learn it by doing it, you know, like carpentry (only with less lumber) or sex (only with less lumber).

Sat | Sept 15 Fans of music and Satan will be interested in an article in today’s Los Angeles Times that points out that five heavy metal concerts have been canceled at House of Blues clubs located on property owned by the Walt Disney Company. The piece noted that a September 7 show featuring Machine Head was moved from the House of Blues location at Downtown Disney to the Glass House in Pomona and that a September 26 show at the same venue (featuring Obituary, Alabama Thunderpussy, Full Blown Chaos and Hemlock “has been canceled outright.” This raises the issue: Who names their band Alabama Thunderpussy? Don’t get me wrong, I got nothing against Thunderpussy, it’s one of my favorite Bond movies. I just want to know how someone says, “Hey, I know, let’s call ourselves Thunderpussy!” and someone else says “Yeah, it’s good, but it’s missing something.” When isn’t Thunderpussy enough? And is that really a world any of us wants to live in? I mean, isn’t that what the Shakers were all about? And who—WHO—having deemed Thunderpussy wanting, believes that what’s missing is some sort of geographic designation, preferably cracker-adjacent?

Sun | Sept 16 Most definitely Charlie Weis.

Mon | Sept 17 Speaking of football—Weis is the football coach at Notre Dame (0-3 Notre Dame)—you really should check out our online edition for high school football stuff. In today’s Monday Morning Quarterback, J.J. Fiddler points out that this is already a strange year in the Moore league: Poly has lost a game, Jordan hasn’t, Compton has outscored its first two opponents 125-7 and gutty Cabrillo, which didn’t win a game last year, already has as many victories (one!) as Wilson. On the downside, not one of the teams is called the Thunderpussies.

Tags: daily 49er, notre dame, press telegram, thunderpussy