We all look awful in the morning. Ten Salon & Spa can help

PHOTO by ROSHEILA ROBLES

Last month, American-born screenwriter Tad Safran penned an opinion piece for London’s The Times in which he declared British women, compared to their Yankee counterparts, are “unkempt and lazy” when it comes to grooming. “I am a massive fan of British women,” wrote Safran, who has resided in Britain since he was a toddler. “[They] are the greatest natural beauties in the world . . . when they’re 17 or 18 years old.” The timing was perfect: just before the holidays, when women—and men, regardless of our citizenry—tend to feel the worst about themselves.

American women, Safran argued, do beauty better—mainly because we spend so much money on our looks. An informal poll of Safran’s US friends, he wrote, revealed that they spend $700 per month on hair, nails, skin, etc., and upwards of $1,000 per month on fitness. (Meanwhile, an informal poll of myself revealed I spend $50 per month. Oops!) In response to the article, a number of British female columnists, like The Sun’s Sophie Mansell, underwent $600-plus beauty makeovers. Their conclusion? Safran is a tool. Makeup washes off. We all look awful in the morning.

And yet here we are in the New Year (!!!), with resolutions and never-mores still the topics of conversation—and, more importantly, still within reach. For many women I know, 2008 is the year we Get Our Act Together: address the wrinkles, change the chub, brush our hair. And pamper. To that end, I recommend Ten Salon & Spa, a full-service salon and day spa located downtown off Long Beach Boulevard.

Despite appearing little more than a quaint storefront salon from the street, Ten is huge—USS Enterprise huge. The nucleus of the space holds a salon in-the-round, a series of mirrors and work stations in the shape of a circle manned by capable stylists like Terrance, who doubles as a makeup artist (ask him about Ten’s makeup line of choice, True, especially the unreal lip-enhancing gloss that will leave you feeling like Angelina). There’s also a manicure/pedicure station featuring hot stone massages and paraffin dips ($30-115).

But that’s just up front. Beyond this, Ten (a recent MyFOX LA winner for best salon) extends deeper into the building with its sprawling day spa, a grouping of different treatment rooms, pleasant steam room/locker room and small relaxation area. Whether you’re in the mood for a Swedish massage ($50-120), reflexology massage ($60) or sports massage ($115-170), Ten covers all this and more. My visit included a 60-minute deep tissue massage ($100) in the life-changing (seriously) hands of Jenise, who slowly, methodically and not a little bit painfully (pain is good) rubbed out a year’s worth of stress knots from my back.

Or maybe you’d like a facial—Ten offers treatments with both Control Corrective and Yon-Ka lines, from standard facials ($100) to anti-acne peels ($95) and micro-dermabrasion ($125). The Le Grande Classique facial with Kiersty, a 70-minute deep pore cleansing and restorative facial ($130) is great for first timers; I was so relaxed I fell asleep.

But by far the top-most reason to visit Ten is for their magical body treatments, all of which include the best shower you’ll ever have—ever—beneath the human car wash that is the Vichy Shower, a long, swinging horizontal pipe with seven shower heads. Sugar and Dead Sea salt scrubs ($95) are among the most popular, but trust me: You want the Moor Mud Cocoon ($135). With her easy-going Midwestern accent and walk-you-through-it approach, Jackie, the esthetician, creates an alarmingly disarming environment for what comes next: The gal paints a  bunch of chocolatey-smelling mud from Europe on every inch of your body (save for the naughty bits) and then wraps you—tightly—in something close to cellophane.

The heat from your body (and the steamy room) opens your pores, allowing the ultra-detoxifying elements of the mud (great for achy joints) to seep in. After, the shower heads click on one by one, sprinkling warm water over your body as Jackie (with a separate, slightly cooler shower head) focuses on the stubborn areas—fingernails, between the toes, etc. It’s like being in the tub when you’re two years old (in the best, most non-creepy-sounding way possible). And a great start for women (Brits, Yanks, whatever) who want to start the year off right: clean.

TEN SALON & SPA 242 E THIRD ST | LONG BEACH 90802 | 562.432.7700 | TENSALON.BIZ | OPEN MON-FRI 10AM-8PM; SAT 10AM-6PM; SUNDAY BY APPOINTMENT | PACKAGES AVAILABLE

Tags: Long Beach, massages, resolutions, spa treatments, ten salon and spa