The brass tacks of the matter are a) it’s not easy being you and b) you’re very good at what you do. It’s well beyond high time you got some recognition around here, but the sad truth is with bills, errands, places, people, etc., everybody else is just too busy to appreciate you. For now it looks like you’ll have to celebrate your achievements as a party of one—and to that end, you need a trophy. Yes. A trophy.

Three-legged race ribbons littered the shelves of your childhood room, yet when was the last time you got an award as an adult? Greatest Dad? Seriously—how many “greatests” can there be? It’s time for a cup—one worthy of touching your lips, even—a trophy that reflects the significance of your achievements.

Gold Coast Awards offers a few different styles of cups, each available in a variety of sizes. But of all of them, one stands out: DAK115-B. The cup has a golden electroplated finish with a pair of finely wrought handles and a mouth wide enough to hold more than a few bolts of the strong stuff. The dark marble base lends the cup both elegance and weight, a fitting tribute to your greatness.

Additionally, the base bears a clean metallic plaque suitable for personalization. Sans inscription, this fine piece of work costs a mere $59.95. Too much? Then I misjudged you from the start; you are a born loser. After all, this is an investment in self-respect. Engraving costs only an additional 20 cents per letter, with a minimum cost of seven dollars—well worth it. I don’t want to tell you what to write on the plaque—it’s your own emotions—but I think a simple CHAMPION in Roman 3 Line pretty well sums it up.

AVAILABLE AT GOLD COAST AWARDS 5841 Graham St | Huntington Beach 92649 | 714.898.0061

Tags: Buy Curious, self congratulation, trophies