It’s a rare item that can make a guy simultaneously feel tough and look pretty, but that’s exactly what my switchblade comb from Siren does. The best part is the reaction it elicits when I pass through security lines: the only thing worse than a pig is a fake pig, and this little gem helps me make fools of fake pigs. Once, I was at a bachelor party at Fritz That’s It! in Bellflower when this short mustachioed bouncer made me empty my belongings onto a table. His face lit up when he saw me bust the switchblade out of my right pocket. He thought he had me, but I clicked the button and ran the teeth through my greasy hair. My friends erupted into laughter, which really pissed the asshole off. I looked him in the eye, smiled and walked through the door, looking awesome as usual. AVAILABLE AT SIREN 2240 E Fourth St | Long Beach 90814 | 562.439.3449 | sirenlongbeach.com // JIM HALL

I know damn well I don’t need another T-shirt—so why do I want these so bad? Available at Threadless.com, Eric Fan’s design for his T-shirt “The Helium Menagerie” and Priscilla Wilson’s “My Father Was a Sailor” are stunning. Sure, you figure you’re over clever slogan tees, but at Threadless, even “In Case of Emergency, Break Dance” looks a bit less foolish (just a little bit). Maybe it’s because the artists behind Threadless design some of the most annoyingly cool and creative T-shirts around. An “ongoing T-shirt design competition,” all of Threadless’s shirts are 100% original and offered at very reasonable prices. This means that people like myself, who feel mostly hostile to the idea of shopping for clothes in real live stores with real live people, can peruse hundreds of artsy tees—long-sleeved shirts, hoodies and kiddie tees too!—via an easily navigable, sticky-sweet website. To be completely honest, up till now I’ve resisted plunking down the ole Mastercard, but looking at these shirts I can feel my frugal resolve weakening. I’m powerless against Threadless’s hip textile tractor beam. $10-25. AVAILABLE AT THREADLESS.COM // JOSHUA PERALTA

Tags: switchblade combs, t-shirts, threadless