Writing Shotgun

PORT OF LONG BEACH SPINS TO THE TOP OF FORTUNA’S WHEEL

Rachel PowersFri. January 04
 

…and as for me, well, I learn a valuable lesson.

You may recall our November story on security at the Port of Long Beach in which I gave aid to those determined chaps training at terrorists camps in Afghanistan (so some have said) by helpfully explaining to them (1) what a bomb does, (2) what a port is, and (3) how they could cause some problems by getting one in close proximity to the other. (I’ve always wanted an FBI file.)

On December 2nd I posted an update: the Bush administration, deciding that high-risk cities had “largely satisfied their security needs,” slashed DHS funding by half and did away with port security funding altogether. I then wrote that “if I thought that he would take my call, I would be offering Port security chief Cosmo Perrone a good stiff drink.”

Last week I received an email from Mr. Perrone:

“Rachel–You underestimate me; my number is [#] and make sure that you tell my administrative assistant that I am expecting your call.”

The lesson? Reporters should never, ever assume that their calls will go unanswered, especially when liquor is in the offing. Reporters should also remember that government budgets are fickle, and no one can predict where they will fling their love: on December 17th the House passed an omnibus bill that restored funding for port security, and then some: DHS funding jumped from $200 million to $400 million. Bush, grumbling all the way to the podium, signed the bill on December 26th.

Perrone, always a gentleman, has thrown down the gauntlet. I accept the challenge. I will be speaking with him very soon (today, I hope), and will ask him about security, funding, the size of Long Beach’s cut, and if he would consider writing a Drink of the Week.

(Honestly, I don’t even know if the man drinks.)

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COMMENTS

  1. 1

    What’s up with this stupid headline — Fortuna’s Wheel. Is this some type of play-on-words that only hip headline writers can understand.

    [report]

    Posted By Dwight K. Snider on January 4th, 2008 at 8:44 am

     

  2. 2

    Nice try at minimizing the pro-terrorist wickedness of your story, Rachel. But you did something more than just explain “(1) what a bomb does, (2) what a port is, and (3) how they could cause some problems by getting one in close proximity to the other.” You also wrote about wandering around the port with your wee son Isaac in tow. Thanks to you, terrorists have learned they can attack the port, even if they can’t find a babysitter!

    And now you’re trying to get the head of port security liquored up? Is there no end to your perfidy? (If the word “perfidy” confuses the guy who is confused by the title of this post, I apologize in advance.)

    [report]

    Posted By Paul Brennan on January 4th, 2008 at 10:15 am

     

  3. 3

    Dwight–

    Fortuna’s Wheel, aka Wheel of Fortune.

    See http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Wheel_of_Fortune

    I knew that a humanities education would render me irrelevant, but I didn’t think that I would become incomprehensible. And as for your question: I am so, so far from hip. I swear, you’d never be able to pick me out of a headline writers’ lineup.

    [report]

    Posted By Rachel Powers on January 4th, 2008 at 11:44 am

     

  4. 4

    Dear Rachel,
    I’m so sorry I snapped at you this morning. My only excuse is I wokeup in a bad mood, probably alcohol related. It was only after half-a-pot of coffee and ten cigarettes that I could think clearly and googled FORTUNA’S WHEEL. Boy, those Roman goddesses were really something else. Can I buy you a makeup drink before work at the V-Room tommorrow morning. Again, I’m sorry.

    [report]

    Posted By Dwight K. Snider on January 4th, 2008 at 3:26 pm

     

  5. 5

    I was a little confused, too, but now I understand everything — except Pat Sajak.

    [report]

    Posted By Dave Wielenga on January 4th, 2008 at 4:26 pm

     

  6. 6

    Dwight et al: you will learn far more about Fortuna’s Wheel from Ignatius J. Reilly than from the Google from any other information delivered by tubes. Go to thy master: he wears a funny green cap.

    [report]

    Posted By D. Kelson on January 4th, 2008 at 4:26 pm

     

  7. 7

    Dwight Snider calls Rachel a snob for her use of the phrase “Fortuna’s Wheel,” (and then apologizes–what a gentleman!),Paul Brennan defends her, D. Kelson writes to say that you have to know Ignatius Reilly to fully appreciate Fortuna–and I know Ignatius only because it was Paul Brennan who, years ago, first recommended that I read “Confederacy of Dunces,” the John Kennedy Toole novel in which Ignatius is the main character.

    Is D. Snider the lead singer of Twisted Sister?

    [report]

    Posted By Will Swaim on January 4th, 2008 at 6:30 pm

     

  8. 8

    And I’ll bet Mr. Snider wrote “We’re Not Gonna Take It” on Big Chief paper.

    [report]

    Posted By D. Kelson on January 4th, 2008 at 6:35 pm

     

  9. 9

    Speaking of Pat Sajak- Jesus prefers Vanna White. Jesus wanted to discuss this with Merv Griffin when he came to heaven. Unfortunately for Merv my Dad hated his talk show. Now Merv’s interviewing Joe Stalin and Ken Lay. Jesus likes Rachael.

    [report]

    Posted By jesus on January 4th, 2008 at 10:34 pm

     

  10. 10

    Dwight, you’re a prince. Certainly no need to apologize.

    Jesus, you are the son of God. And I like you, too.

    [report]

    Posted By Rachel Powers on January 5th, 2008 at 11:01 am

     

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