The Daily Briefing

OUR GLORIOUS DEMOCRATIC REPUBLIC: TODAY’S CRAP

 

*  Mitt Romney will endorse John McCain; it looks as if Gore has decided to refrain from announcing an endorsement.

*  Right-wing opposition to John McCain prompts talk of launching an ultra-conservative third party

*  A Justice Department official testified on the legality of waterboarding before a House Judiciary subcommittee this morning, and actually provided an unequivocal opinion (”no, it isn’t torture”), along with some historical context (”our kind of waterboarding is different than the Inquisition’s kind of waterboarding.”). BUT: it may be that recent legal developments have, in fact, rendered waterboarding illegal from here on out. Do we believe any of these people?

*  Speaking of these people, a Fox News Radio host–charmed by the suggestion that Obama supporters sound like the crowds at Nuremberg–recently ran a side by side comparison of the recorded speeches of Hitler and Obama.

*  Bush defends his “seminal decision” to send troops to stop acknowledged genocide in Darfur.

*  Bush is still fighting to extend the Protect America Act, though Democrats have told him to relax, for chrissakes, because FISA remains in place.

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    Jesus doesn't know why the CIA doesn't use a different interrogation method. The French use it and It's very effective. First you put the interviewee in a bed with a heavy comforter, then you feed Gerard Depardieu a diet of spoiled goose pate, goat cheese, lentils and cheap beer for a day. Then Mr. Depardieu gets in bed with the interviewee and asks questions. If the interviewee is deemed to be avoiding or lying Mr. Deparieu will flatulate loudly then pull the comforter over the interviewee's head. The comforter is not removed until the interviewee comes clean and answers the question. The French call this the "four a' Hollandais" or "Dutch oven". Maybe the U.S. could see if Rush Limbaugh would volunteer as the interrogator in the U.S. or maybe Vice President Cheney?
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    Or we could just strap them to a board upside down and drip water in their nose for about 15 seconds until they break--it's worked before. Now that the House Demos have let the Protect America Act expire for political purposes we can all talk to our Mommies from the mall and not worry about Evil Dick hearing about Uncle Joe's prostate.
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