Long ago and far away– actually, during the recall election in 2003 and at OC Weekly– I wrote about a BBC documentary, Arnold Schwarzenegger– Made in Britain, featuring Gigi Goyette, a former mistress of Arnold’s, though Gigi preferred the term “avenue of relaxation”. She was happy to map out for the BBC the avenue Arnold took to his happy place of relaxation. “[N]o insertion”, she explained, everything was done orally. “I could be standing on my head and getting head.” She called it “outercourse”.

This documentary premiered (in England, it wasn’t shown here) at the same time Arnold was making only the vaguest of statements about what he would do as governor– “refusing to discuss any issue in detail”– which lead me to conclude:

Now Arnold is counting on the voters of California being as pliable as Gigi, as he stands the political process on its head by insisting on being elected before he explains what he will do as governor. There was “no insertion” by Arnold into the issues at his press conference, and there’s been no insertion since. Welcome to the politics of outercourse.

Today, the Los Angeles Times reports that the Schwarzenegger administration has brought the spirit of outercourse to accounting for Arnold’s luxury travel budget, which is financed by groups like “the California State Protocol Foundation, a Chamber of Commerce-aligned nonprofit whose usually secret contributors receive the same tax deductions as donors to food banks and universities.”

Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger’s office has avoided fully disclosing payments of $1.7 million in nonprofit funds for private jets, hotel suites and support staff for his trips overseas, according to state documents and interviews.

Record-keeping for many of the governor’s luxury-class jaunts has been by word of mouth. Asked how the staff tracks the costs, subject to public disclosure laws, Schwarzenegger attorney Daniel Maguire said: “Orally.”

Orally. No surprise there– unless you’re one of those who expects the governor to follow the rules like a normal person.

In late 2004, the multimillionaire governor stopped reporting the travel expenses on state disclosure forms that itemize gifts to elected officials. Instead, Schwarzenegger’s top aides recorded some of the costs — and made only general references to others — in memos they wrote to themselves and filed away in the governor’s legal affairs office.

[…]

[N]onprofit watchdogs and open-government advocates called his aides’ handling of the travel costs deceptive, a way to thwart scrutiny of the lavish spending by the tax-exempt charity that foots the bill.

“They’re trying to not have written records,” said Bob Stern, president of the Center for Governmental Studies. “I would call it creative accounting — creative oral accounting.”

Again with the oral– I suppose it was too much to hope for that anyone would note that there’s “no insertion” of the required information by the governor and his staff.

Of course, Arnold’s spokesman insists, “We’ve been following the law all along.” I don’t know about that, but I do know they’re following the politics of outercourse. And that’s what got Arnold where he is today, and made sure he was relaxed when he got there.

Tags: accounting, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Arnold Schwarzenegger-- Made in Britain, avenue of relaxation, BBC, ethics, Gigi Goyette, Los Angeles Times, luxury travel budget, no insertion, OC Weekly, oral, orally, outercourse, travel