The Daily Briefing

ROMNEY SUSPENDS HIS CAMPAIGN! (EXCUSE THE EXCLAMATION POINT)

Dave WielengaThu. February 07
 

Mitt Romney, wealthy corporate sleazebag, flip-flopping politico and apparent all-around assbite, doesn’t have enough money to buy the presidency. He’s taking his hair products and going home — wherever that is: Massachussetts? Michigan? Utah? Wyoming?

Romney announced this morning that he is suspending his campaign for the Republican nomination for the presidency after blowing a big chunk of the fortune he made as a corporate raider — and after winning only those primaries held in those states (mentioned above) where either he or Dick Cheney have called home.

Proof again that, in the United States, every kid can grow up to be President — unless their parents name them after a piece of baseball equipment. Mitt, we hardly knew ye …. and even that was more than we wanted to know ye. Now, begone!

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COMMENTS

  1. 1

    It was only yesterday that I realized his real first name is Willard. I previously assumed it was Mittens. Goodbye, Willard.

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    Posted By Miles Clements on February 7th, 2008 at 10:19 am

     

  2. 2

    Stop picking on Mitch Romney!

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    Posted By Theo Douglas on February 7th, 2008 at 10:55 am

     

  3. 3

    So if that is your opinion of Romney who has spent most of his life making his own fortune in private enterprise what is your opinion of the Clintons?

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    Posted By LBRez on February 7th, 2008 at 11:21 am

     

  4. 4

    sweet rage, dave. see ya, cold hand…

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    Posted By Chris Ziegler on February 7th, 2008 at 1:27 pm

     

  5. 5

    If he was Michael Jackson’s son, he’d probably call him oven.

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    Posted By A.R. on February 7th, 2008 at 4:39 pm

     

  6. 6

    $35 million of your own money is a lot to spend to end up as a footnote in election history.

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    Posted By Andy on February 7th, 2008 at 6:52 pm

     

  7. 7

    LBRez might reasonably ask the same thing of my hero George Washington. Inherited a plantation, served in the military for years and then in DC. Didn’t make his own fortune in private enterprise. Was he, therefore, a crappy president? Undeserving of our respect? Look, LBRez, I’d support the repeal of the 22nd Amendment and then vote for George W. Bush if he had accomplished half of what Clinton did in two terms.

    Footnote: Clinton was born in absolute poverty, was a Rhodes scholar, and elected governor. Whatever else his failures, that was once regarded by conservatives as a real American success story. You don’t have to love or hate Mitt Romney to see that.

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    Posted By gorilla warfare on February 7th, 2008 at 7:19 pm

     

  8. 8

    Way to go, Gorilla Warfare! Glad I didn’t write a response. It would have paled in comparison to yours.

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    Posted By Dave Wielenga on February 7th, 2008 at 7:31 pm

     

  9. 9

    Jesus doesn’t like Mormons. It’s their underwear. It’s just weird. Oh and I hate that punch they serve at weddings.

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    Posted By jesus on February 7th, 2008 at 10:04 pm

     

  10. 10

    Clinton was the best Democrat President Republicans could have hoped for domestically: tax cut, welfare reform, kept out of the way of the economy (with exception of tax cuts), enabled environment that pushed Newt to the Contract With America midterm elections that overturned the Dem majority in Congress. The enimity that he inspired (inspires) with conservatives blinds them to his many somewhat conservative achievements. Same with Bush. He has been a great President for Democrats if they can get past their BDS to look at what he hath wrought: expanded Fed government, huge domestic spending, attempts at immigration reform that would bring amnesty into the picture and allow hundreds of thousands, if not millions, more immigrants to surge north, Federal intervention into education, he signed McCain-Feingold, and he was lighting rod that allowed Dems to regain control of Congress.

    Get past the emotional hatred and look at the deeds and both sides should see that perhaps the man they hate did more to further their own agendas than the man they love(d).

    Too bad the Golden Spoon filter appears to apply to your view of candidates, it precludes you from supporting Hillary or Obama!

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    Posted By LBRez on February 8th, 2008 at 11:26 am

     

  11. 11

    I was following for awhile, pretty much right up to the point where you mentioned the Golden Spoon filter — which, of course, wouldn’t hold water.

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    Posted By Dave Wielenga on February 8th, 2008 at 6:30 pm

     

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