Tues Nov 10 LBPost.com reports the Long Beach City Council unanimously approves a draft ordinance that will change how the city deals with medical marijuana dispensaries. The proposed changes are reasonable and include increasing the number of dispensaries allowed in the city to allowing dispensary patients to cultivate marijuana in their homes. Also, dispensaries will be allowed to be located in business/residential mixed-use areas, as well as 1,000 feet from libraries, good news for anyone who’s is trying to come down after a bad trip of reading—or lifting—Ayn Rand. Now, there are still restrictions on dispensaries. For one, they won’t be allowed within 1,000 feet of child-care facilities. Another is that patients will be limited to just one complimentary bag of Cool Ranch Doritos per visit. All in all, it’s a positive and smart step by the council, and one for which I believe I will take full credit. As you recall, I wrote last week about the utter ridiculousness of the city closing down the Green Nurse Collective, and voilà! Now, the bean counters will tell you that my column runs on Wednesday and therefore the council would have no knowledge of it when they made their decision on Tuesday. To these spiteful people, envious of my many exciting shoes—Theo—I pose this question: Shut the hell up. And so, Long Beach, you are welcome. Let it be said that “Steve Lowery gets things done.” Yes, let that be said, because “Steve Lowery owes a lot of people money” is really getting old.

Wed Nov 11 Hundreds show up at Lakewood Center shopping mall to see rapper (do they still call them rappers?) 50 Cent, who was there to promote his new fragrance. The fragrance is named after something that Cent hopes to project: Power. Whether it will be a big seller, especially with a $68 price tag, remains to be seen, though it figures to be better than Kanye West’s new fragrance, which projects his image. Look for Punk Ass this holiday season.

Thurs Nov 12 St. John Bosco and Cal State Long Beach alum Evan Longoria is named the American League Gold Glove winner at third base, becoming, at 24, the youngest to win the award at any position in eight years. Longoria, in only his second season, has already won a Rookie of the Year award, boasts a World Series appearance to his credit and is probably best young player in the game. No joke.

Fri Nov 13 Customs officers at the Port of Long Beach/Los Angeles find a cherry 1965 blue-and-white VW van in a container bound for Europe. Two amazing things about the discovery: 1) Turns out the van had been missing since being stolen in Spokane back in 1974; and 2) If it had made it onto the container ship, which travels at an average speed of 24 knots—or 28 miles per hour—it would been the fastest the van had ever traveled.

Sat Nov 14 Don’t know if you heard, but California Treasurer Bill Lockyer recently laid into fellow Democrats while testifying about legislative reform. “It’s impossible for this legislature to reform the pension system, and if we don’t, we bankrupt the state. And I don’t think anybody could do it here because of who elected you.” Yeah, I know. He went on to blast, “I’m sorry. Two-thirds of the bills that I see come out of the Assembly, if they never saw the light of day, God bless them. It’s almost a courtesy. You’re expected to move the junk along. . . . Just stop it. Just stop it. Just stop it. They’re junk. And they’re consuming all your staff time with junk.” Yeah, and there was plenty more. But don’t get all smirky, Republicans. The only reason that you aren’t coming under scrutiny is that you don’t have a significant role in Sacramento—probably owing to the fact that your present ideology runs the gamut of “No! No! No! No! No! No!” It also explains why the face of your party in the state is serial diddler Carrie Prejean and that your leading contender for governor is eBay exec Meg Whitman, who has—seven months before the primary—already spent a reported $19 million on her campaign running as an outsider. Yeah, money in politics—that’s mavericky. Despite the cash, a recent L.A. Times poll showed that two-thirds of the electorate had no strong opinion of Whitman, and the third that did strongly believed she’s a crappy drummer.

Sun Nov 15 Boom boom boom boom . . . yeah, we get it.

Mon Nov 16 Rumors are that Steven Tyler, 61, is leaving Aerosmith, which apparently is a big deal if you’re into formulaic, self-parodying music (hey, whatever happened to Tori Amos?). This seems all so unnecessary, since in my day rock stars had the good manners to die young, usually in some kind of teachable and comically gruesome way. Now, they just hang on interminably. Do I really need to see Mick Jagger pass a kidney stone in the middle of “Satisfaction”? And have you seen Tyler lately? Dude doesn’t look like a lady, dude looks like a lady going through the change.

Tags: 50 cent, aerosmith, bill lockyer, evan longoria, lakewood, Long Beach, medpot