Make this DJ happy on V-Day: Buy him a gun

ILLUSTRATION by LUKE MCGARRY

Loveless? Let DJ Charlie Rose charm you at his Anti-Valentine’s Day party at Max’s Steiner. Fifty dollars goes to the first person to eat a whole raw onion or raw bulb of garlic.

Favorite love song? Betty Padgett, “My Eyes Adore You.”
Favorite breakup song? Darondo, “Didn’t I.”
What’s the best way for a DJ to put some love in the air? Nothing says “sexy” like Barry White and nothing has more Barry White than his best-of album White Gold. An album best paired with white wine, oysters and a Rolls Royce with a fold-out picnic table in the trunk.
What’s the best way for DJ to suck out all the love in the room? The best way to suck the love out the room would be playing any track off the Star Wars disco album. I keep a copy in reserve just in case it gets too hot and steamy and I can’t see the faders.
Best V-Day gifts ever received? I would have to say my most memorable Valentine’s gifts have been weapons. One year I received an amazing pastel yellow Winchester pocket knife with gold inlay. Prior to that, it was a Springfield .30-06 hunting rifle. It was a gift from my father for finishing my rifle safety class a few days earlier. It wasn’t specifically a Valentine’s gift but it happened to land on Valentine’s Day.
Worst V-Day gifts ever received? Any Valentine’s when weapons are not exchanged.
Most memorable V-Day moment? One year I went thrift store shopping on Valentine’s Day and I happened to find the best homemade Cookie Monster costume ever made. Sadly, the head was missing but once the clerk reluctantly retrieved the booties from the back it was the warmest pair of footie pajamas I have ever owned.
Who would you book to play your dream V-Day (or anti-V-Day) show? My dream show would include RTX, the Rods, JT IV, Graveyard and Troyka. I would consider this a dream Valentine’s Day show but I’m sure there are several people out there who would disagree! I find any experience that includes Raiders poncho drug rugs to be a loving embrace of friendship and romance!
Ideal Valentine’s meal? Nothing is worse than a pair of poorly constructed and poorly flavored edible panties.
Which is more important: Sex, money or power? In The Spy Who Loved Me, right after Karl Stromburg lets the engineers escape his underwater lair there is a scene that really grasps the essence of life and Saharan tent construction at its finest.

ANTI-VALENTINE’S DAY WITH DJS CHRIS ZIEGLER, CHARLIE ROSE AND DIRTY-LO MAX’S STEINER | 2500 E ANAHEIM ST | LONG BEACH 90804 562.433.5823 | SAT 10PM- 2AM | FREE | 21+

Tags: dj charlie rose, la record, max's steiner, Music, valentine's day