Forget figuring out what to do with the Queen Mary. Forget revitalizing downtown—or even uptown, for that matter. What Long Beach needs—some may say has always needed—and needs NOW (or, you know, ASAP) is some Pabst Blue Ribbon.

And I’m not talking about the PBR we all drink at the Pike, Alex’s Bar and every other watering hole in town. No, no, Long Beach loves its PBR more than that—enough to, well, BUY THE ENTIRE COMPANY.

For the low, low price of 300 million dollars (seriously? That’s it? Surely I’ve drank nearly half that much in PBR in my lifetime) we, the citizens of LB, can purchase Pabst Brewing Company.

But wait, there’s more!

We also get Old Milwaukee, Schlitz and Colt 45. Did somebody say beer pong?

I’ve got $100. Who’s with me? LET’S DO THIS.

By the way: If we band together and buy PBC, does that mean PBR would return to Joe Jost’s? It’s something to think about.

Tags: joe jost's, Long Beach, LONG BEACH LOVES ITS PBR, pabst blue ribbon, PBR