People watching and bargain hunting at the Long Beach Outdoor Antique and Collectible Market

PHOTO by ZACK PIANKO

There are swap meets, and then there’s the Long Beach Outdoor Antique and Collectible Market, which invades Veterans Stadium every third Sunday of the month. Unlike traditional swaps—where dudes with missing teeth sell bootleg CDs and potentially hot tools—the Antique Market is filled with stuff that you actually want, even if you don’t need it. Case in point: I was a regular for about a year but stopped going once I noticed my apartment had become overrun with Camp Snoopy drinking glasses from McDonald’s, neon beer signs that stopped working the instant I plugged them in, and far too many vintage Vegas ashtrays. I don’t even smoke.

In November I made a return visit, my first in a year—and didn’t buy one damn thing. It was a proud moment. But that’s not to say I didn’t find anything worth buying. In fact, my mitts were all over knickknacks that could have easily found a home if I hadn’t been flying solo. (Interesting how visits to the Antique Market can differ depending on the company. I once found a pristine blue Dickies leisure suit for $15 that I’d be wearing right now if my girlfriend had been around to tell me how stupid it would be to walk away from such a deal. But I’m a guy, and thusly can quash the shopping bug if I consider a purchase not absolutely necessary. In hindsight, I realize that suit was a must-have and I’m a fool for not picking it up.)

Taking a yearlong break from the Antique Market meant the vendors had had a chance to revamp their selection. It was like shopping there for the very first time. And other than the inordinate amount of hideous red Santas and other Christmas crap—not surprising, considering it was mid-November—the Market hadn’t changed one itsy bit. Without my girlfriend there to slow me down, I visited every single one of the 800 dealers in less than two hours.

Now, the promoters of the Market like to hype all the furniture, jewelry and antiques for sale (more on these in a moment). But the other main attraction is the people watching—holy shit, there’s some incredible eye candy at this place, and it’s not just attractive girls (which there are plenty of). There are some legitimate weirdoes as well. Over the duration of that Sunday in November I kept running into a guy dressed like a pirate whom I could smell from 30 yards away and a loudmouth woman with the biggest set of teeth I’ve ever seen. (There was also a slew of hipster couples toting kids in Radio Flyers; I found this odd, as having a child is the most uncool thing I can think of, but maybe procreating is the new accessory for ’08.)

As for the goods, a word of caution: Everything is either way too expensive or ridiculously affordable—there’s no in-between. The biggest deals are to be found in men’s clothing. While the asking prices for things such as trunks, chests, statues and dishes can be outrageous, a men’s coat or vintage shirt will run you much less than any shop on Fourth Street. But if glossy celebrity photos, watches, Fiesta ware, knives, tires, kitsch furniture or dressers are on your shopping list, be prepared to fork over some dough. Either way, window shopping isn’t such a bad way to kill time—especially when you’re not looking for anything in particular. And with 20 acres to walk, you get a good workout, too.

LONG BEACH OUTDOOR ANTIQUE & COLLECTIBLE MARKET VETERANS STADIUM | NEAR THE INTERSECTION OF LAKEWOOD BLVD AND CONANT ST | LONG BEACH 90808 | 323.655.5703 | LONGBEACHANTIQUEMARKET.COM | EVERY THIRD SUNDAY OF THE MONTH | 5:30AM-3PM | ADMISSION BETWEEN 5:30-6:30AM $10; 6:30AM-3PM $5; CHILDREN UNDER 12 FREE | FREE PARKING | NO PETS ALLOWED EXCEPT OFFICIAL GUIDE DOGS

Tags: antique market, leisure suits, Long Beach, Veterans Stadium