At least, that’s what people who know him might call the man who wants to unseat Laura Richardson

They really do call him Mr. Dibs–at least, his students do, and somewhere more than 1,000 of his potential constituents. You, on the other hand, might say “Who are you?” and “Stop trying to touch my ballot!”

A mild-mannered man of 50, Dibs looks every bit the longtime high school substitute teacher he is, for Long Beach Unified and other area school districts. He cleans up nicely, though–thanks partly to his part-on-the-side, all-weather haircut.

Dressed for a recent Kiwanis meeting in a well-cut blue blazer (no gold buttons), a conciliatorily-patterned necktie, modest denim pants which didn’t resemble jeans at all, and dully-finished black oxfords, he looked and sounded the way you might want your congressional challenger to look and sound.

(It may help to remember that the incumbent wore a type of zebra-patterned pants suit to this year’s Martin Luther King Jr. Celebration.)

But will any of this–including the haberdashery–help a last-minute, Hail Mary candidate for the 37th Congressional District, who needs more than 7,700 signatures from registered voters just to get his name on the November ballot as a write-in against Congresswoman Laura Richardson?

Some backstory if you’re not from this planet: Richardson, a Democrat from Long Beach, served on Long Beach City Council from 2000-2006, was elected to State Assembly and served for several months in 2007, then was elected last summer to serve out the late Rep. Juanita Millender-McDonald’s unexpired Congressional term. She is all but a lock in November.

Despite defaulting on three mortgages she’s held in Sacramento, Long Beach and San Pedro–and, until earlier this year, on a number of smaller bills from her printer and her car mechanic–the Republicans didn’t even run anyone against her in this spring’s primary and Richardson beat her only Democratic opposition, the perennial Peter Mathews, like a borrowed goat. She is–how you say?–officially unopposed.

Nicholas “Nick” Dibs is her unofficial opponent. Not to disparage his campaign, but how many of us know the substitute teacher would like to run for–nay, is running for–her seat? In a nutshell, that is a big part of his problem.

“She has the machine, but it’s up to voters to see through that,” Dibs said, after sitting silently through the Kiwanis luncheon at daVinci’s Restaurant to collect four–count ’em, four–signatures outside afterwards. (Kiwanis is a nonprofit, so while it was quick to offer Dibs and me each a seat and a plate, it can’t take a position on the election by, say, handing Dibs the mike.)

“I’m concerned that obviously she has more money than I do. I’m the underdog,” Dibs said. “I have a very slim chance of making it. But the citizens of the district deserve a choice.”

Dibs is a recovering Republican, reloaded as decline-to-state. “I left the party about a year and a half ago because I don’t agree with what’s going on,” he said, meaning mainly the war, though he also takes issue with the state of education.

And if Dibs were still a Republican, he couldn’t run as a write-in at this late date. Being a decline-to-state candidate allows him to petition his way into consideration–if he gets enough signatures.

“Is Laura Richardson the best person out of all the people in the 37th Congressional District?” he asked. “I think I am because I don’t fit the party mold.”

As for his years substituting, Dibs says he’s never been able to find just exactly the right classroom–and he considers substitute work more of a challenge anyway. But, he says nicely, he thinks he’d be a better fit than Richardson in Washington, D.C.

Dibs is against the war–we’ve said that–and he’d like to put some of the money we’re currently throwing at Iraq and Afghanistan into doing things like reducing classroom sizes to 25 students.

“I think education is the key, because improving the public education system is important and critical for the future of our nation and our community,” Dibs said, looking intense and sounding like Congressional timber–which is to say slightly bureaucratic. “So we put the money into the classroom Not into the administration.”

He also opposes the No Child Left Behind Act and teaching to the test, and he wholeheartedly supports moving the country away from oil-based energy sources.

And he wonders how Richardson has been able to move forward, given her checkered record.

“It appears to me that there’s an attitude of arrogance, of her having the money but not paying these small business owners,” said Dibs, who–and this is, perhaps telling of his campaign style–front-loads our conversation with his positions on national issues and reserves the body blows until … now.

“I can’t speak specifically to her motives because I don’t know her,” Dibs said. “But this behavior manifested itself, I believe, when she was on City Council. It manifested itself when she went to State Assembly. And it’s manifesting itself now.”

“Mrs. Richardson, I believe, represents the status quo, the M.O. for which is ‘Take money from corporations and special interests and big business, and climb the ladder as fast as possible.’ She represents the status quo. I’m not saying she has broken the law.”

And, take it home.

“This is a very unique opportunity for the voters of the 37th Congressional District, in that they don’t have to go with the status quo. Even though I don’t have a lot of money,” Dibs said.

“We need people in Congress who are going to hold the administration accountable. And how are you going to hold the administration accountable when you can’t even conduct your own personal affairs or your own administration in a responsible manner?” Zing!

Members and guests of Kiwanis, of course, heard none of this–which possibly accounted for Dibs inking just four signatures.

“I’m not afraid of supporting the underdog,” said Rob Webb, a Kiwanis guest, as he left, walking past Dibs and his petitions which were squeezed onto some sort of display cabinet outside the mess hall. Webb didn’t sign, saying, “I just want to do little independent research.”

Dibs seemed to like those odds.

“I have more than 1,000 [signatures] at the moment,” he said at one point. “But at the time this article is published, I hope to have more than that.”

Tags: 37th Congressional District, Afghanistan, California, daVinci's Restaurant, iraq, Kiwanis, Laura Richarcson, Long Beach, Long Beach Unified School District, Martin Luther King Jr. Celebration, Nicholas "Nick" Dibs, November election, Rep. Juanita Millender-McDonald, Rep. Laura Richardson (D-Long Beach), Rob Webb, Southern California, The District Weekly, Theo Douglas, Washington D.C.