They ran out of garden burgers early at Tuesday night’s Beer & Politics forum–which pitted the truth-and-justice screeds of assembly candidates on one end of Gallagher’s Pub against the screams of basketball fans on the other–and late in the evening talk-show host Art Levine ran off with Theo Douglas’ three-quarters-full glass of Widmer Hefeweizen. Who won? The Lakers, even later in the evening–although on a perhaps-debatable non-called foul by Derek Fisher on San Antonio three-point shooter Brent Barry. By that time, however, there were no politicians left to debate and everybody else was a Lakers fan.

We like Beer & Politics–brainchild of Michael Clements of the Long Beach JayCees–and Tuesday night’s edition was the beeriest and politickiest yet. Also, probably the most relevant, coming one week before the June 3 primary election where Long Beach-area voters will choose who’s going to represent them in the 54th Assembly District.

Three candidates–Long Beach City Council colleagues and Democratic opponents Bonnie Lowenthal and Tonia Reyes Uranga and Republican defense contractor employee Michael A. Jackson (his opponent, Gabriella Holt was a no-show) –spent a couple of hours promising what they’ll do if they’re picked to fill the seat that’s been kept warm by termed-out Betty Karnette. Nobody mentioned the most obvious starting point: a fresh seat cushion.

Michael A. Jackson—he jokingly emphasizes the “A,” to distinguish himself with anybody else with that name—went first, and laid out a pretty pure conservative agenda … against any new taxes, same-sex marriage, all bond measures, loving tolerance of poor illegal immigrants and in favor of capitalism, capitalism, capitalism. However, he failed to reconcile his faith in the free market with the fact that he’s made his own living on fat checks written by big government: 10 years in the Navy, where taxpayers not only paid his salary but also for much of his education, which he has since put to personal profit by working for huge defense contracting companies that again depend on massive taxpayer spending for their very existence. But Jackson chooses to call that kind of grand-scale welfare “public service.”

Bonnie Lowenthal went next, and recited her accomplishments during 14 years of elected service on the school board and city council, most of which nobody could hear because the second half of the Lakers game was starting. Then came Tonia Reyes Uranga, who got the biggest cheer of all—maybe because she was wearing a Lakers jersey, or maybe because of the monster dunk Kobe just threw down.

Meanwhile, up in the press box—a table that was triangulatedly positioned for easy viewing of the big game and the basketball—off-duty Press-Telegram reporters Kris Hanson and Kelly Puente savored brewskis and watching still-working colleague Paul Eakins struggle to decipher what the candidates were saying before scurrying off to write a deadline story. Concurrently, I was taking a poll to determine whether the fact that Gallagher’s inexplicably didn’t have any garden burgers was a good enough reason to violate my month-as-a-vegetarian project to order the fish and chips.

It was about this time that Art Levine, the Long Beach State professor who’s celebrating 15 years as host of the local cable show Straight Talk, wandered in with arms full of fliers and began his typical pleas for publicity—although this time, with an apparently ulterior motive: to distract Theo Douglas with glossy pages of colorful pictures and kidnap his honey-colored beer. It worked … again!!! Did somebody make a joke about putting out an amber alert? No? Next time. 

Tags: Add new tag, Art Levine, Beer & Politics, Betty Karnette, bonnie lowenthal, Brent Barry, Dave Wielenga, fresh seat cushion, Kelly Puente, Lakers, Michael A. Jackson, San Antonio, Theo Douglas, Tonia Reyes Uranga