Moscow newspaper the eXile needs money—term is “reinforcements,” not “begging,” as per this plea by their world-famous war critic Gary Brecher:

I’m calling in an urgent request for reinforcements, before we’re overrun. The eXile, my HQ since I started this column, has been sucker-punched by a bunch of squeamish bureaucrats and anonymous complainers. You know the type, the kind of people who’ll poison your dog but don’t have the guts to come to your door. Looks like this Fifth Column is winning, and we’ll be forced to retreat from Moscow. And you know how messy retreats from Moscow can get. Ask the Little Corporal; he left the Kremlin with half a million men and came home with about enough for a high-school marching band.

[...]

The thing is, it takes money and we have none, zero, aren’t even getting paid any more. We need help. That’s what this mayday is about. You want us in the foxhole with you, fighting against all that’s good and decent in the name of all that’s funny and honest? Then cough it up, soldier!

—Gary Brecher, The War Nerd

Face Control, Vlad’s Daily Gloat, War Nerd, and the first people ever to print that James Frey was a big faker—do these accomplishments deserve nothing? Although America is no longer the power it once was, perhaps some of you can find a little money to help keep this vital Russian resource alive if not healthy or happy. Save the eXile here. Give them as much credit-card info as they ask for.

UPDATE: eXile is shutting down. Brief explanation here:

The eXile is shutting down. It all started two weeks ago, with an innocuous-looking fax from the Federal Service for Mass Media, Telecommunications and the Protection of Cultural Heritage. The barely legible fax informed us that our paper was slated for an unscheduled inspection to see if it had violated any media laws. It didn’t specify which ones. A week later, a four person team of polite chinovniks showed up to ask some questions and, on their way out back to their lair, grabbed a few eXile issues for an “expert analysis.” News of their visit had our investors fleeing instantly, and, in no time at all, was kicking up a media shit storm that’s only now beginning to gather full strength.

And full agitated explanation by editor Ames via Radar:

A: I live in a gangster police state that’s hell-bent on being respected.
B: These people are now auditing my articles to see if they’re extremist, pornographic, or if they humiliate Russia.
C: Before they left, they took our most recent issue, in which I wrote that the Exile “farts in Russia’s face” and that Medvedev is so liberal our paper can “urinate into the president’s mouth without any fear of consequences,” and he’s so small he should be “zipped up in a squirrel costume and put in a Habitrail.”
THEREFORE, D: The California suburbs are sounding pretty nice to me.

Tags: exile, war nerd