Get ready to do a spit-take over this morning’s Press-Telegram, ’cause here goes:

As the P-T’s Hanna Chu reports, Prince Andrew of Britain–yes, that’s Prince Andrew of Britain–was in Compton yesterday to attend the opening of what the newspaper calls “a much-needed grocery store”: the latest franchise of Fresh & Easy.

It’s a British chain, and Prince Andrew apparently attended the event “as the United Kingdom’s Special Representative for Trade and Investment.”

Which raises the question: what the hell?!? He’s a prince–of Britain–and he’s opening a grocery store. In America. Doesn’t he have anything better to do? A battleship to launch somewhere?

I predict: this is what America itself will be reduced to one day, now that we don’t make steel any more. Henry Kaiser must be rolling over in his grave.

Also, too: the P-T’s Wendy Thomas Russell reports that ex-Second District Councilman Dan “King of Springfield, Mo.” Baker has been cleared by the state’s Fair Political Practices Commission of “violating ethical standards” about two years ago when he voted to approve a police department contract–shortly after embarking upon a land deal with Long Beach Police Officers’ Association President Steve James.

(Sorry, that was a long sentence.)

Here’s the backstory–or some of it: Baker resigned the council somewhat abruptly, about two years ago, after the P-T raised questions about his partnership with James–and whether Baker also had used his office for non-city-related functions.

City Attorney Bob Shannon is quoted in Thomas Russell’s piece today as saying–or continuing to allege–that “our investigation shows that [Baker was] conducting non-city business on city time.”

Now here’s the F.P.P.C., in a letter quoted in Thomas Russell’s story: “To date, our inquiry into this matter has not produced sufficient evidence to establish a violation …”

Which raises the question: Who’s Dan Baker? Seriously. He was a councilman of this city–he was a genuinely big cheese; a huge cheese–and yet after he resigned … what do we have?

Almost nothing. It’s as if he walked off the dais that night at a Long Beach City Council meeting–having resigned at the meeting–and just sort of disappeared.

Doesn’t anyone find that interesting? If you take the F.P.P.C.’s position on this one, then you must believe–as the Commission apparently does–that Baker did nothing wrong.

Meaning–if we take the Commission’s ruling literally, and to heart–that Baker could theoretically step back up on the dais and become Second District Councilman again. In theory.

Wonder how we–and everyone at 333 W. Ocean Blvd.–feel about this?

Tags: California, California Fair Political Practices Commission, Compton, Dan Baker, FRESH & EASY, Hanna Chu, Henry Kaiser, Long Beach, Long Beach City Attorney Bob Shannon, Long Beach City Council, Long Beach Police Officers' Association President Steve, Prince Andrew of Britain, Second District Councilman Dan Baker, Southern California, The District Weekly, Theo Douglas, United Kingdom's Special Representative for Trade and I, Wendy Thomas Russell