Tues | Dec 11 The City Council of beautiful Downey, California, votes to hire a consultant to help them figure out what to do with what’s left of Johnie’s Broiler. You remember Johnie’s, right? It’s the authentic ’50s drive-in that was a shining example of Googie architecture—it also happened to make a club sandwich so fine you’d step over your hatcheted mother to get one. And then the guy leasing the property decided the one thing the place lacked was getting all destroyed by a bulldozer. He wrecked the restaurant thusly, though he left the giant sign above it intact, giving the place an eerie, neutron-bomb-y kinda vibe, sorta like something you’d see in an apocalyptic movie about a nightmarish future bereft of hope—you know, High School Musical. Now, some are telling the City Council they should restore Johnie’s to its drive-in glory, while others believe they should simply stay true to the spirit of the architecture but be more open about how the place is used. You know what I think the council should do? Something. That would be better than the nothing it’s done the past year. The place just gets worse and worse looking and it won’t be long until those clamoring for Johnie’s to be restored to its former glory will be satisfied for Johnie’s to be neatly swept into garbage bags.

Wed | Dec 12 Something called a Warren Furutani wins a special primary election to replace Laura Richardson in the 55th Assembly District. Furutani, a Democrat, got about 49 percent of the vote, which was enough to win but wasn’t the 50 percent required to win the seat outright, so he’ll have to participate in one more election where he will be matched against those who won their party’s special, primary elections and if he wins that—and he will—he’ll be able to take his seat in the Assembly unless he decides to take the deal from the banker or can’t answer a question about fourth grade math. Furutani’s near election—near election, they have pills for that—raises the question: Can you have too much democracy? We’ve been having a ton of elections lately: primaries, general, special. This latest one came after Richardson won two elections to replace the late Juanita Millender-McDonald in Congress. Just nine percent of eligible voters participated in the election that actually put Richardson in Congress. It seems people are getting a little pooped on populism. When Furutani ran for the Assembly back in June of 2006 he received more than 11,000 votes and lost. That election had a 29 percent turn out. Tuesday, he got just 8,600 votes but won because only 10 percent bothered to vote. In fact, people are so disinterested that the Republicans didn’t even bother to have a candidate show up for the election. Furutani ran unopposed by the GOP and, therefore, in the next election, he’ll be opposed by an Independent, a Libertarian, three Wookies and Premdor, Lord of the Mud People, who may sound pretty primitive but is still a good deal more progressive than Lou Dobbs.

Thurs | Dec 13 Swastikas are found painted on six cars parked in Laguna Niguel. Now, I know this is out of our area, but it’s kinda creeping me out how much of this has been going on in Southern California. In the last few weeks we’ve heard about nooses hanging at Cal State Fullerton, nooses at the Port of Long Beach and nooses at the Port of Los Angeles. Now, swastikas in Laguna Niguel—not that we should worry about anything. According to the Laguna Niguel police the swastikas are simply a “prank,” and I’m sure the Asian and Persian families who owned the cars the swastikas were sprayed upon laughed themselves silly (“Oh, that is hilarious. Hey, everyone, check out the new Kristallnacht-nacht joke I just heard.”) Swastikas are never pranks—they are hateful and dangerous. A prank is burning dog poop. A prank is the 2000 presidential election—that was hilarious.

Fri | Dec 14 I had some minor surgery on my foot the other day, and it has caused me to walk on the toe of one foot like a comedy-ballerina. So many gentlemen callers.

Sat | Dec 15 I was offered a walker today. This is known as being “Logan Runned.”

Sun | Dec 16 District Publisher Will Swaim asked me a few days ago if I had anything to add to the Mitchell Report about the use of performance-enhancing substances in Major League Baseball. I said I didn’t since it seemed every possible angle had been accounted for. But I just saw Katie Couric ask Yankee third baseman Alex Rodriguez on 60 Minutes if he thought fans should have been able to “expect more” from ballplayers than to take steroids. So a woman who belongs to a profession where she and her colleagues think nothing of eye lifts, tummy tucks, toupees and dye jobs to keep a job is looking down at ballplayers who are taking steroids to do the same thing? And how about all those broadcast journalists who, in the run up to the war, did everything short of packing sack lunches for the troops, hopeful their acquiescence would get them plum, government-approved embedded assignments in Iraq? You know what, Katie? When Barry Bonds lied, nobody died.

Mon | Dec 17 Sack.

Tags: Alex Rodriguez, downey, Johnie's Broiler, katie couric, mitchell report, steroids, Warren Furutani, wookies