Help!
HELP!
Serving the people who serve us
By Anonymous
“I take a pizza to a Motel 6, and the first thing the guy says when he answers the door is, ‘We’re doing drugs in here.’ I look in and see his buddy holding lines of something on tin foil. He gives me the money and a tip and then asks for peppers and cheese, which I didn’t have. As I drive away I see the two of them on the railing giving me two very disapproving fingers, way up. Then something hits my car. I bolt out, look up, and yell, ‘Did you guys get the wrong pizzas or something?’ Posing fierce in his second-story doorway, he yells, ‘We wanted fucking plates and napkins!’ Meanwhile, his crony heads back into their room for more ammo and returns to the railing with a handful of change. ‘You planning to throw that at my car?’ I ask, standing in the middle of the street. ‘Yeah,’ he says, his voice flat. ‘Why don’t you come down here and vandalize my car like a real man?’ He breaks into a full sprint to the stairs, but tip-toes when he gets there and never makes it down. His friend has gone into the room, and I had no intention of sticking around to see if a coke-head was willing to shoot the pizza man. So I drove away and saw them both on the stairwell looking as though they’d forgotten what just happened.”
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