PHOTO by ROSHEILA ROBLES

A lot of people don’t believe me when I tell them my grandfather invented the vodka tonic—and those who do should be ashamed. But whoever first concocted my good friend VT, you can trust its refreshing qualities to come to your rescue when the burlesque show heats up at the Basement Lounge. That’s when a few sexy dancers take control of the bar (and the room’s attention) and gyrate their way into your fantasies. Unfortunately, the bar closes during the show—just as your mouth becomes very, very parched. Fortunately, the bar re-opens after the show, so wedge yourself in and compete for the bartender’s attention.

Don’t count on vodka tonic for deep conversation—it’s strong, but simple: vodka (I prefer SKYY) and tonic water over ice, with lime. Lots of lime. And don’t be dissuaded by minimalism—this is exactly what you need. If girls are running about in skimpy outfits, the last thing you want to focus on is whether you’re sipping crème de menthe or anisette. VT would slap you for that: it takes pride in being a man’s drink. It’s what James Bond drinks when he’s on vacation and away from the documentary crew. It also healed my brother’s club leg. Within five years VT will replace fossil fuels. Not as a new energy source—it’s just going to carry you around on its back. VT is the best! Thanks, grandpa!

BASEMENT LOUNGE 149 LINDEN AVE | LONG BEACH 90802 | 562.901.9090 | BURLESQUE SHOW SATURDAYS

Tags: basement lounge, club leg, vodka tonic