Salad Daze
Compiled by Miles Clements

DENWOOD AVE, LOS ALAMITOS
FRI | JULY 6 12:27 PM
A resident was apparently in no mood for lunch when he called the police and told them that a woman had come to his door and reportedly tried to sell him salad. What really irked the man was that the woman didn’t have any salad with her. Confused, the man had the police dispatched to his neighborhood, where they found three people going door to door. While the people indeed did not have any salad with them, they also were not trying to hock any leafy greens: they were simply handing out coupons.

KATELLA AVE, LOS ALAMITOS
SAT | JULY 7 2:02 PM
Maybe because of the Joint Forces Training Base located there, Los Alamitos seems to be in a lingering state of terror-induced paranoia. The city’s latest case of terrornoia came when a man noticed a couple drums of white powder sitting outside a local business. Convinced it was either the good stuff (cocaine) or bad stuff (anthrax), he called the police. What police discovered, however, wasn’t some misplaced weapon of mass destruction, but rather a couple barrels full of soil samples waiting to be picked up and delivered.