Is there such a thing as a good ringtone?

I’m starting to think I’ll hate anything if I hear it often enough.

When I bought my most recent cell, back in April, all I wanted was the smallest cellphone–and that was pretty much what I got. No extra ringtones or anyything, and I managed–for about five to six months–to stick to the stock ring.

But then, suddenly, I couldn’t bear it any more, and so I switched it to that speech Criswell gives at the beginning of “Plan 9 From Outer Space”–because, like a lot of things in life, Criswell doesn’t make a lot of sense.

You know–”Greetings, my friends. We are all interested in the future, for that is where you and I are going to spend the rest of our lives … .”

(And this is where Lowery or Wielenga would say something like “Well, that’s why you hate it.”)

And I hate it. And I don’t always hear my phone ring. So what do I do–record Little Jimmie Dickens, or something else I’ll find equally offensive in a month?

Clearly, it’s a helluva dilemma. I don’t even want to think about what this says about the rest of my life.

Tags: California, cell phones, Dave Wielenga, Little Jimmie Dickens, Long Beach, ringtones, Southern California, Steve Lowery, The Amazing Criswell, The District Weekly, Theo Douglas