A few years ago Jeff discovered Facebook, a social networking platform that was going to make him more popular, better looking, and straighten out his hair. Through the use of status updates, Jeff was able to keep his entourage informed at all times of what he was doing:

“Jeff is wanting to go to bed. Jeff is tired of studying. Jeff is going to the ‘lude – who’s down? Jeff is super sad today, what girls with black hair, bangs, and too much eyeliner would like to comfort him and his 1.75 liter jug of ‘Vodka of the Gods?’ Jeff is having a rad day today.”

Jeff even changed the way that he spoke in real life, to accommodate this particular way of communcating. Now, Jeff’s world has been turned upside down; Jeff no longer ‘is.’ Jeff remembers the old adage, “The Facebook givith, and the Facebook taketh away,” but this is little consolation. The cornerstone of Jeff’s lexicon has been removed. Jeff doesn’t know how to update his followers.

Status: Jeff in mourning. RIP: ‘is’.

Tags: Facebook, is, social networking