You know, I woke up today and I was worried. I saw the pictures of fires threatening or destroying homes, heard that one million people had been forced to flee their homes and that an area roughly the size of Rhode Island had been scorched. Yes, I will admit, I was concerned. And then, it came, the good news: FEMA IS HERE! Yes FEMA, the Federal Emergency Management Agency; saviors of New Orelans, the people who put the “pass” in compassion and pioneered such groundbreaking disaster relief methods as “Well, you should have thought of that before you decided to live in New Orleans/Southern California/a house that got leveled by a jet airliner.

Yes FEMA is here and already doing what FEMA does great: making sure everyone knows what FEMA does great. This morning the head of FEMA, David Paulison, spent his time managing the emergency by going on morning talk shows and telling everyone what a great job he and his agency is doing. “We’re going to make sure this operation runs as smoothly as possible given the size of this disaster.” I think the only way he could he have qualified that statement anymore would have been to scream wild-eyed into the camera: “Stop, drop and roll!” But, hey, any questions any of us have about FEMA’s effectiveness are easily put to rest by no greater an authority on well-run disaster relief as George W. Bush who said of FEMA “I believe the effort is well-coordinated.” Terrific. Of course, George W. Bush also believes that Adam and Eve were real, had a pet dinosaur and enjoyed bowling with their friends the Rubbles.

Tags: David Paulison., FEMA, george w. bush, New Orleans, Southern California, wildfires